Aliens loom
In the skies overhead.
They might be the doom
That makes us all dead.

Or maybe AI
Will do us all in,
And all men will die
By cyborgs with "skin".

But, likelier, Man
Will be his own end
Before he began
To be his own friend.

An Irishman once had the luck
To find a free chicken to cluck:
     They went to the coop
     Where the chicken would ploop,
But the chicken, turns out, was a duck.

There once was a woman from Norway
Who'd hang by her toes in the doorway:
     She went to her dude
     And his friends in the ****
And requested a fjordian fjour-way.

i'm restles§ & laZy
& wirəd & tired
& not ⁿ°ⁿuncraZy
& antiadmired

a little bit manic
& chillaxed as a maniac
i picnic with Panic
& retardədly brainiac

& God as my wittiness
i'm ●ver herə trying
to c○pe with the shittiness
of living while dying

𝓐𝓫𝓻𝓪𝓱𝓪𝓶 𝓛𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓷'𝓼 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓷𝓪𝓶𝓮,
𝓝𝓸𝓻 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓘 𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓶𝓪𝓭𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓬𝓵𝓪𝓲𝓶.
𝓘 𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓪𝓽 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓵 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓮𝓭
𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝓹𝓸𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓽 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓭𝓸𝓻𝓴𝓼 𝓽𝓸 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓭.

𝓟.𝓢.  𝓘 𝓯𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓭.

We're fishes in the internet
Caught in the catch of net the day.
The smartest smartphones place a bet
That some night soon you'll meet a gray.
A U.F.O. (or, as they say
In England Land, a yoofo) flies
From where sweet baby scarecrows play
And eye the stars with googly eyes.

While sweating drops of acid sweat,
A cyborg prays away the gay.
A covid sneeze that's extra wet
Is heading thine iambic way.
Tuberculariaceae......
Is the password!  You win the prize!!
Ride on a rocket to Mars, crochet,
And eye the stars with googly eyes.

If you should dance a minuet,
Throw in a twerk for Claude Monet.
I fly around a jumbo jet
While crying, "Climate change!  Obey!!"
Unqualified I fly (hooray!)
A plane that fails hardwarewise.  
Olympic athletes play croquet
And eye the stars with googly eyes.

Enjoy a ride in Santa's sleigh
Before you make your reindeer pies.
Shake thou the darling buds of May,
And eye the stars with googly eyes.

Rolls through the valley
A May storm with itchy *****—
What price bonobos?

the fall
     ing leaf
is all
the fall;
i call
     my grief
the fall
     ing leaf

in Sp
ring
when song
birds

singjoy
fully,
dying
is

dull
;but
fat worms
****

**** thunder
are the
raindrops
f

alling&stain
ing the
side
walk,rin

sing off
the
col
orful chalk

There once was from Mount Disappointment
A fella who lubed with some ointment
     A patch of dry skin
     Till he sinned a gross sin
And missed an important appointment.

Stink bugs
Multiply like
Love bugs.

Edgar Allan Poe
Never wrote a poem about a crow,
But he did write a poem about a misbehavin'
Raven.

            An
          aC
            Robatic,
crisscrOssing
   -acroSs-a-
            T
             Ightrope
acrostiC

There was a Young Lady who tweezed
The hair from her nose as she sneezed;
She then plucked her eyebrows from lowbrows to highbrows,
That plucky Young Lady who tweezed.

There was an Old Person of Cairo,
Whose exploits were carved into hiero-
glyphics on stones where a pharaoh's wrapped bones
Are preserved in a chamber in Cairo.

There was an Old Man of Kampala;
He prayed in the morning to Allah,
And in the bright light of the day, and at night,
That observant Old Man of Kampala.

There was an Old Man of Burundi,
Who prayed to the Salvator Mundi
Who met him upstairs and who answered his prayers
And who sainted that Man of Burundi.

There was an Old Man of Djibouti,
Whose substance was frothy and fruity;
A regular dandy with pickles and candy,
He dandled the Dongs of Djibouti.

There was an Old Man of Manilla,
Whose favoritest bean was vanilla;
He climbed up a tree and befriended a bee,
That beneficent Man of Manilla.

There was an Old Man of Beijing,
Who'd study all day the I Ching;
He balanced his qi with white rice and green tea,
That mystical Man of Beijing.

There was an Old Lady of Donegal,
A sister named Mary McGonegal;
She ruled with a ruler every pre-to-high-schooler,
That punishing Lady of Donegal.

There was a New Baby, whose nose
Was loving the smell of a rose
When it noticed the riper brown smell of a diaper,
Which offended that New Baby's nose.

There was an Old Man of Hong Kong,
Whose nose had a luminous ****;
It lighted his way by night and by day,
That lucky Old Man of Hong Kong.

There once was a man of Pangaea
Who had an unlucky idea:
     He ate a strange shroom
     And then laid in his tomb,
Having died from insane diarrhea.

There once was a man from Nantucket
          Named Pym:
          That one lim
          Eric?k is about him.
                                                   **** it!

Pr●ⁿ°ᵘⁿceⁿtipəde§triaⁿ.

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Who said, "It is just as I feared!—
Two tweakers, a rat, and a cat in a hat
Have all built their nests in my beard."

There was an Old Man of Connecticut,
Who possessed an innate sense of etiquette;
He'd lay down the fork to the left of the spork,
That mannerly man of Connecticut.

There was an Old Man from Earth's center,
Who left it and couldn't reenter;
He crawled out a hole like a man who's a mole,
And lost his way back to the center.

There was an Old Person of Skye,
Who spent his days wondering, "Why?"
When they asked, "What's the word?" he replied, "Haven't heard,"
That discouraged Old Person of Skye.

There was an Old Person of Sligo,
Whose motto was "You go and I go."
He went here and there building castles in air,
That imaginative Person of Sligo.

There was a Young Person of Ghana,
Who grew Ghana's best marijuana;
He grew it, enjoyed it, and was super annoyed it
Was very illegal in Ghana.

There was an Old Person of Perth,
Who buried his gold in the Earth
And then plum forgot whereat was the spot,
That forgetful Old Person of Perth.

There was a Young Man of the South,
Who mouthwashed with whiskey his mouth;
He spoke with a drawl, saying yes'm and y'all,
That drawling Young Man of the South.

There was a Young Person of Boston,
Who wandered around and got lost in
The Chinatown section with a raging *******
That poked out an eyeball in Boston.

How pleasant to read Mr. Lear,
Who surely was scroobious and queer;
Old Foss was his cat in a runcible hat,
And he couldn't abide ginger beer.

I toss the sack.
It's kicked around.
I get it back.
We get a hack.
It hits the ground.
'Skeeters attack.

How, or when, or what is not the Akond of SWAT?

Does he pick his nose with his fingers and toes?
When he smells a rose does he slime the rose                 with SNOT,
                                                           ­                       The Akond of Swat?

When he texts a text does he always press SEND?
When he chats online does he chat with a friend            or a BOT,
                                                            ­                      The Akond of Swat?

Does he breakdance, jitterbug, krump, or twerk?
Will he dance a jigg? a jive? a ****?                                 or GAVOTTE,
                                                        ­                          The Akond of Swat?

When he eats a banana, does he eat the peel?
Has he eaten an eclectic electric eel                                or a BRAT,
                                                           ­                       The Akond of Swat?
Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
When or how or what is not
                                                           ­                       The Akond of Swat!

                                                   i
                                               t      n
                                           o             g
                                        o                     
go and catch a shhhh                           star. . . . . .

Goldfinches
And dandelions compete
For yellowest yellow.

My ****'s wet
With buttsweat,
My *******
With nutsweat.
I bust ***
With swamp ***
That bubbles
With swamp gas.

The cuckoo's
A-singin';
The bees are
A-stingin;
The thunders
A-drummin;
The sumers
Icumen.

Individual
Drops of rain syringe the tips
Of long pine needles.

There once was a woman of Cork
Who visited was by a stork
     Who brought her mistakenly
     A baby made baconly
In a barnyard where ***** pigs pork.

There was an Old Person of Crete,
Who walked on the ***** of his feet;
When they asked why it was, he responded, "Because,"
That taciturn Person of Crete.

There was an Old Person of Finland,
Whose cabin was upland and inland;
He lived in a region where fish spoke Norwegian,
That flapperous Person of Finland.

There was an Old Man of Geneva,
Who had an encounter with Shiva;
They patty-cake played in a hornet-loud glade,
Shiva and the Man of Geneva.

There was a Young Lady of Paris,
Whom ****** couldn't embarrass;
She wandered the city with ***** and *****
Exposed to the city of Paris.

There was an Old Husband of Arles,
Whose wife had a passion for quarrels;
All day and all night she'd invite him to fight,
That exhausted Old Husband of Arles.

There was an Old Man of Kyoto,
Who mastered supremely the koto;
His tea was the greenest, his dragon the meanest,
His koto the best in Kyoto.

There was an Old Man of Algiers,
Who listened with elephant ears
To streams and to trees and to birds and to bees
That delighted the Man of Algiers.

There was a Young Lady of Arles,
Who married a ****** named Charles;
When they asked, "Does it fit?" she replied, "Not a bit!"
That unsatisfied Lady of Arles.

There was an Old Man with a beard,
Whose ****** expressions were weird;
He'd grimace when glad and he'd twinkle when sad,
That curious Old Man with a beard.

There was an Old Man
Of Japan,
Whose limericks would never
Ever
Scan, that instupendious Old Man of Japan.

He wouldn't compose a cantata,
A symphony, song, or sonata:
     The best of his best
     Is a piece that's one rest,
Played f and with a fermata.

Bowlers are rolling *****,
***** they call bowling *****,
Striking the bowling pins,
Making them rolling pins.

There once was a woman from Seoul
Who swallowed an octopus whole:
     It swam in her belly
     With fishes of jelly,
Then plopped in a porcelain bowl.

In Maranatha faith and hope
Are more matur'd than in the Pope.

She sings for Jesus Christ and joy,
And doth the Devil's ears annoy.

Her goodness, purity, patience, peace,
And lovingkindness never cease.

She's sav'd by grace but works good works;
And in her heart no evil lurks.

She turns me down for that is she
A slave to love and liberty.

                                                                ­                                  a
                                                       ­                                     w 
                                                                ­                       a
                                        ­                                         &
                                                                ­          up            
                                        ­                            up        
                                                              up­                
                             up                                 
up                                                     
            ­down               
                                          down

There once was a man on the moon
Who'd wake in the moon's afternoon,
     Then eat a whole moon box
     Of Malt-O-Meal's "Moon Rocks"
With milk and a runcible spoon.

     Corinna, wake
     For Heavens sake,
You slothful Slug-a-bed!
     May is long past,
     And June flyes fast;
Roses are cherrie-red.

     Corinna, rise;
     Open your eies;
You sleep far far too much.
     Get up, or els
     Suffer the smells
Of an oven hot and Dutch!

                                                            n
                                                   n           ­   u              
                           h                 y                    s      
                    g           t         k                     r      
                                         s                    e   
                   h                  ee              w        
                       g               b           o
                             i                   l            
                                    l       f
                                      n    
                                u      
                        ­   s

The kite's high.
I give it more string.
I give it
All the string.
It takes off
And flies away
And lands
God knows where.
Goodbye!

I.
Hotter than summer's hottest days,
When Sol doth set the earth ablaze,
Are all Urania's sultry ways:
          She'll make you sweat!
When she descends from scorchèd skies,
She'll fry like eggs your blinded eyes
As someone yells from afar, "Surprise!"
          You'll feel the heat!

Fear not.  Her fury's wrath and rage
Lasts but a moment, not an age.
She'll cook your meat and burn the sage
          And smoke the ***.
I love her when she's fully enriched.
I love her like a baseball pitched.
I love her b∞∞bs [OOPS! roboT gLitCh t  )
          I'm hot for.bot@

502 Bad Gateway

II.
Urania!  Urania!
I have for you a mania!
You're driving me insania!
Urania!  Urania!!  Urania!!!

The ship is going down;
     The passengers panic.
I write and wait to drown
     Aboard the Titanic.

There once was a gal from Berlin:
The hair on her chinny-chin-chin
     Was thicker than wool,
     And it made her blades dull
Whenever she shaved to the skin.

Edmund Clerihew Bentley
Invented an eminently
Humorous verse form
Which is also a terse form.

There once was a rosy tomato
Who fell for a russet potato,
     And coming together
     In unusual weather,
They created a baby topato.

Prepare the battle kittens!  War
     Is coming down the lane!
The Nerf ammo is on the floor;
     The window feels the pane.

When lollipops and ****** bombs
     Fall from a Bob Ross sky,
A sandwich crust of soccer moms
     Will say buhbye and by.

a noble mole.  what dribbles **** a chin
lickable fungus glowing martian pog?
Al Addin's lamp (ummm...) frıght night of the djinn
whilst gripping chokes a chickensmoke some smog:

the summersmell of blacktop picks a long
boogery nose that smells a little silly.
a ******* wonderbabe removes her thong
sunsh¡ne and sits as pretty as a lily

and yet: the interstellar shift of sky
that breaks the ball of e art h & leaves it flat
for thunderbirds that birdshift flying by
the troll that eats with relish someone's brat.

an awful machine sits upon a dish.
lettuce a leaf  .make ye a daisy wish

There once was a munchkin from Oz
Named Phineas Entwhistle Boz:
     The Lollipop Guild
     Had Phineas killed:
Their reason, they said, was becoz.

How doth the little chupacabra
     Improve his lizard scales.
Abracadabra and candelabra,
     He showers when it hails.

His favorite thing to do is eat:
     His favorite food is goat.
Salut, salut et bon appètit,
     His favorite part's the throat.

Females, the locus of his focus,
     Attract him and repel him.
Harum scarum and hocus pocus,
     They spurn him when they smell him.

This is a test.  This is only a test.
This iThis is only a test.  s a test.  
This is a This is only a test.  test.  
TThis is only a test.  his is a test.  
ThThis is only a test.  is is a test.  
This is a teThis is only a test.  st.  
This is a tesThis is only a test.  t.  
This is a tThis is only a test.  est.  
ThiThis is only a test.  s is a test.  
This is This is only a test.  a test.  
This is only a test.  This is a test.  
This is not a test.  Be very afraid.

There once was a crocomodile
Who lived as the lord of the Nile:
     He once ate a pharoah
     From meatballs to marrow
While crying and wearing a smile.

There once was a gorkik from Venus
Named Xaliphskon Yxzalon Zenus
     Who made a gray baby,
     A cute little grayby,
By mating a zhpart with a squenus.

The bestest
stress test.

The isness
     Of being
          Is the business
               Of I-ing
                    And seeing.

Bigfoot lives
Big discreet.
Bigfoot loves
Bigly feet.

Bigfoot lives
Bigfoot life.
Bigfoot loves
Bigfoot wife.