If I die in a school shooting
I'll never go home again.
My room will sit unused,
A capsule frozen in time,
A snapshot of how I was.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my dog again.
She will sit at the front door
Waiting for me and wondering,
Why I never came home.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never graduate from high school.
My yearbooks will sit stacked
Stopped short of their goal,
Missing years that should have been.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my mom again.
She will sit distraught,
Planning a funeral
For a child taken from her.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my friends again.
They'll sit together, missing me.
One empty seat among them,
A constant reminder of their loss.

If I die in a school shooting
I'll never see my little sister again.
She will sit through high school
Knowing I can't guide her through,
That she has to figure it out alone.

If I die in a school shooting
My school will be stained.
Pools of students lives will sit,
Blood tattoos on the brick structures,
Marks of death ground into it.

If I die in a school shooting
Everyone will wear black.
They'll send their thoughts and prayers
To a town marred by death,
Forever to be the home of a shooting.

If I die in a school shooting
Will the world change?
Or will I become one of hundreds  
Of kids who have to die?
What will it take?

If things continue this way
Children will have to live in fear.
They'll look over their shoulders
Always worried and wondering,
If they'll die in a school shooting.

you're sitting across from me
after months of not speaking
you called and said something about how
we don't have to be strangers

i answered on the third ring
just like i always used to do
and agreed to meet you

we decided to get coffee
to warm our bodies
from the november air
although mine is cold
by the time i even think to take a sip

"there's someone i want you to meet, you know"
it's strange
because when you said it
i didn't feel jealousy
i felt anger
i wanted to know
"why?"
you grabbed my hand
"you're still important to me,
i want you
to meet her"

i knew what you were doing
and so i let you
for a few minutes more

and then i thought about how
you've never even heard my voicemail
because i always answered
on the third ring
and how
i doubt she even answers at all
and that
was enough for me

you wanted me to meet her
to compare
and if i did
you'd see that you're never
going to find anyone like me
ever again

i let go of your hand
look into your sea green eyes
that i used to dream about

my voice is suddenly clear as day
"we don't have to be strangers,
but maybe we should be."

I wonder what would happen if I die
Of course, my family would weep at my final goodbye
But would you reminisce our memories and just cry?

I think I would be lost like a candle during the noon
Like a little star between miriads of twinkling stars and moon
And just like a drop of water in the huge ocean

Just like a grown up man forgets his childish smile
And like the birthdates of our loved ones after some years while
I would be forgotten from your momories just like that

But there is a ray of hope that you would miss me
Like the desert misses the rain
Like a lost traveller misses his home
Like a child during his sleepless nights misses his beloved mom

But hey, one thing is sure that
I would miss you even in this life
And I would miss you if there is life beyond my demise

No matter where he went, he saw no need.
Petals fell from trees above, swiftly reaching the floor in his stead.
Buildings, beautifully constructed, easily built without his consent.
Knowledge, of divine and true, gently passed on, without his intent.
No matter where he went, he saw no need.

And when I met that girl in San Francisco
Off a dusty little pier
with rotting wood
and squawking seals
And screaming bayside wind

She caught me off-tropics
and danced with the grace
of a palm tree
lines between the quaked
concrete
off telegraph avenue
On an obscuring Sunday morning

and no
she didn't go
to church or any silly thing
like a temple or synagogue
She said those were no places
for god

God was the trees

We smoked cigarettes and got off to each other's
carcinogenic practices
oxidizing a little faster in conjunction with hopeful
Formaldehyde
Deriding the formalities
of small talk and trivialities

She liked her guitars with nickel-wound strings
I with nylon
But I couldn't play songs
that sounded any good with them
while she could
and did.

and girl did it ever sound good

She'd laugh at the contests on the radio
while we drove on a half-moon
to half-moon
full and whole of ourselves
We'd stopped in the lobby of a cheap motel
And waltzed to background
muzak
wacked out of our minds
Sniffing in deep huffs of subliminal
divinity
Understanding
loving
that mind-numbing
monotony

muzak...
ppsh.
Who ever really listened to that?

And then she left
at the end of one fine winter day
in a cloudless sky I waved
watched her plane
skip off
towards the edge of a pale blue horizon
back south
to warmer climes
to wherever she truly stayed
The tugging on my heartstrings
chimed grotesque in
precise
D minor.

it’s been four months
since you closed your eyes
and never opened them again
it’s been four months
but i replayed that scene
over and over again
it’s been four months
since you left me in pieces
and I haven’t really collected myself
it’s been four months
since you’ve been gone
but why does it always feel like it’s just yesterday?