There are days when I don't know where I am.
When I charge ahead, heedless of others and their needs.

There are days when I don't know where I am.
When I wander thru the fog, seeking comfort or direction.

There are days when I don't know where I am.
Nor do I really care to know; I just want to heal the hurt I see.

There are days when I don't know where I am.
I laugh and I cry, never sure of my place or my role in life.

There are days.

River water kept flowing
Time kept ticking away
Seconds never seen again
Faded from the candle’s flame.

Her hand is where roses go to die,
Her heart is cold and made of stone,
Her gaze is where they cannot lie,
Her smile keeps her from being alone.

You asked
What is the scariest part?

I answer
The scariest part
is not the feeling of loneliness
or the darkness that fills you
despite the looming pain
of emptiness

The scariest part
is the realization  
that you have lost yourself
completely
sinking in as you lay awake
at 2 AM
because you lost the ability to sleep
and you can't even cry
because you don't even care

I miss saying i love you
I loved you then
I love you now
We were best friends
Every smile came from you
Now tears do
I miss saying i love you
I miss saying it in the morning
I miss saying it at night
The feeling i would explode if i didn't tell you right then and there
I love you, i love you, i love you
Now you tell someone else
Now im a stranger
Now im not important
Maybe i don't love you now?
Maybe i do?
I definitely did
It was magic
Fairytale love
Love that could move mountains
Why did we end, i will always wonder
I miss saying I love you
I love you.

My heart feels like
it's about to shut down
from all the truths
that only I know

People view me
as kind
selfless
heartfelt
with empathy

Yet once they witness
my darker side
this inner demon
that is always
a few steps behind me

Once they see
the ashes and smeared blood
tainted within my mind and heart

I am once again alone
alone to pick up the pieces 
of a love that never was

Some days your heart feels
the distance a little harder.