Soft flurries come down from the sky
Looking closely you notice the twinkle in her eye.

She recalls the days when she was young
Wishing for snow storms and catching the soft flakes on her tounge.

She danced in the whiteness the purity rubbing off on her
The memories go cold and it all becomes a blur.

She remembers feeling joyful as the snow feel all those Years ago,
but now the word joyful is a word she doesn't know.

The soft flurries landing gently and soundlessly on the ground
Reminding her of the piter patter of his heart, her favorite sound.

She remembers all the times that they spent together,
And suddenly snow was her least favorite type of weather.

Now I realize;

How can you leave her
while she was the one
who taught you what love is

How can you ignore her
while she was the one
who received everything from you

How can you get rid of her
while she is the one
who always stays in your mind

Coz she was your other half, and she still is.

I wasn't ready
I didn't want it to end
But isn't that what anyone would say
After their own apocalypse?

I knew it was coming
So why didn't I do something?
It was like the little boy
Who cried wolf

Except there is no
Little boy Or Wolf
Just you and me
And you went your own way

So now I'm here
Broke in love
I was gambling
I thought it was a good risk

Silly me,
I bet it all
I gave you all I had
And now I'm left with none

Nothing
I feel empty
Like I'm hollow
Dying on the inside

Every second I'm alone
I'm one second closer to dying
Because now, thanks to you,
I am my own poison

I cry all night
Telling myself things
No one should ever hear
Destroying myself

Burning brighter than the sun
Only to burn out and ruin it all
To become a monster
After something thought beautiful

I never wanted to lose you
No, not yet
But you left me
So now here I am

Laying here alone
Literally shivering in fear
Crying silently in the night
And all because

I wasn't ready
I didn't want it to end
But isn't that what anyone would say
After their own apocalypse?

She knew how to hold me
because she was used
to holding herself together.
She bound herself,
not from head to toe, but
from her flat stomach
to her nervous armpit.
Never quite comfortable
in her own skin,
but I was comfortable
against it.

I never knew what
name to call her.
So I called her
lover.
My lover would
rest with me.
Whispers filled the air
like clouds.
Our words were
puffy and white.
Others spoke
acid tongued storm clouds.

Now that she is gone
I still don’t know what
name to call her. Him.
His name
rolls off my tongue
as hers had.
Still bittersweet
and rough, still
my unstable rock.

Rocks crumble and learn
that the rain washes them away.
Rain learns that falling on,
or for, rocks
bruises the heart
and breaks the ribs.
Yet still, the rain comes and
my heart ruptures and
my chest aches of cracks. Still
I long for him.
For her.  For us.

in the end, it doesn't matter. it'll always be the memory of the one who got away that clouds your judgement and ruins your conscience. the one who destroyed the word love for you. the one who made everyone else meaningless.
as dreadful as it sounds, you crave that hurt because it's so much better than feeling nothing at all. even though, you cry yourself to sleep and try to numb the pain in any way you can. you want to feel, then you long for the numbness that leaves you when you do. -hvj

The best gift
That a person can give me,
Is one that is written on paper.
With thoughts that are real,
And words that can heal,
From the heart, to make me feel safer.

If only I were lonely
Maybe then you could hold me
Never looking for forever
Let us never lay together