Break my heart, make me believes it's out of love.

Even though I was the one to walk away, from you. You still hurt me so incredibly bad, yet I don't want to be with you anymore. But I can't stand the thought of you with someone else.

The scent of my father never became the norm for me.
always foreign.
The scent of my mother was one I knew all too well.
I loved her smell of vanilla in the winter time .
But I think that's all we had in common
Our scent .
My father on the other hand was like my conjoined twin
The same in mind, heart, & soul.
But something about his scent just didn't sit well with me
So when he came back and told me he loved me
I just couldn't .
But your heart follows me everywhere I go
& I wish it didn't.
I wish you would take it back & act like I was nothing to you ,
Again.
Just please do this one favor for me ,
Love me but leave me alone
& take your scent of deception with you .

There isn't a feeling like being awake undergoing a surgery.
I guess it was a lot like being hurt by someone you loved.
I guess it was a lot like loving him.
You know you are being hurt. You feel the scissors, the knife, you feel them pulling, you feel them cutting, but you don't feel hurt.
You know they're hurting you, but deep inside, you choose to not feel the hurt. You choose to be numb. You choose to believe they aren't hurting you.
But then you can't take it anymore, and there's nothing you can't do. So you let them to keep hurting you. And they keep hurting and hurting until they take something from you.
No matter how small, how irrelevant. how good or how bad. It's still something.
They took something from you. A piece of you that you're never getting back. And the minute they get that something, they stop hurting They leave.
And when they leave, there's nothing else but an ocean of hurt. Everything you do hurt. Every word you speak hurt. Everything you do reminds you of them.

It seems like you've taken all my motivation away.
I cannot read, write or do anything anymore.
What spell, what curse did you put on me?
What have you done?
I guess you took the last piece that was left

There was a part of me that thought this
Could go on till infinity
A part that wanted to stay locked in your arms
There was a part that believed we'd always find answers
To always mend the cracks and keep enjoying the charms
There was that part that kept hoping above all hopes
That the heartbeat of our affection never stops
That part that endured the thorns of roses
And your conundrumous tantrums in doses
One that wished we wouldn't run out of second chances
It was responsible for all those backward glances
There was a part that believed would keep reigniting the spark
No matter how cold the shoulders you gave us*
*But then there was another that saw darkness in our spark
An end in our start,pain in our gain
And fatal loneliness in our company
That at her inception our love had died
There was that part that felt how breathless we were
One that saw us on feeders even while still on tar
A side that always knew we wouldn't last
A side I loathed and didn't trust
One that prophesied like all metals so would our passion rust
No matter how strong we believed that ours true it was
However hard we evaded the looming wars
And now there's this part, that sends voices
Through the cracks in the scanty shards
Consequent to your goodbye and other choices
That still believes in us,this part says we have to try
That even if it makes us cry
what are tears
but a colourlessness liquid that will dry?
This part wants another journey with you
This part doesn't know Alphabet, it places I right next to you
This part sounds quite convincing
I think all along you've been the something missing
Precedent to the hollow emptiness in my heart
Come back, let's hurt each other again
After all even apart I'm lonely and it drives me insane
And I get more mad seeing you wallow in the mire of pain
Maybe hurt is a constant but we can
introduce variables to outweigh the aches
Come back,stop asking why it all went wrong
We will never know, maybe we was too weak or strong
Can't stand my mind saying you're my Exe
While another part of me thinks you a part of me