Take out the heart from all my ardent loves
And find you'd weigh as slim as did before
How add to hands what hands already gloves?
Whom holds is loved and loved as lover's lore.
Before you knew my love, my love you owned
As by the stars have mapped you always did,
And chants from Dharma have our love intoned
To speak for mine that others I outbid.
But with such chorus could you still refuse?
Then what you'd grasp does deem my loving self:
A gem with sweetest thief of idle use,
Yet lover hold my worth despite yourself:

That may my heart you'll choose as lover's choose
Yet what decides, what's yours you'll never loose.

The sadness has me helpless as the sand
Awaits for waves to drown upon with salt
Yet even granules know when tides do land
But pain's unrhythmic swells are timed to fault.
With heaviness befalling on my view:
That better be the air, if none found here;
Nor ever were, nor should have been or knew,
For none about the Sun can mine endear.
Each breath deems stolen out from greater lungs:
A weary war my will is not to win
For yonder cloud is death and death's all tongues
Inhale for why? When lifers is life's sin.

Relentless as the waves, such flows the pain
But with me and have left the deepest stain.

At times I think: those whom overcome with sadness
Overbear'd by an unshakable heaviness
Haunted by one shadowing and relentless thought
To end their body, mind and existence here on earth,
Actually live on in spirit, drifting within the winds
Caressing those who mourned their untimely passing.

I wonder if after the deed was done and spirit left
Was the immense sorrow of loved ones lingering,
Resounding around their spirit like a ring around a planet.
Circularly rotating, the bitter taste of a mothers tears
Currents of mourning waves from the memorial,
Compelled by remourse to return and comfort those left behind.

A breeze to such a spirit; a haze of misty darkness
Drifting through doubts and what could have been
What was lost and never to be again,
To linger and flow until all have passed on.
I sense it sometimes in my internal quietness
A companion gone in teenage years whispering,
Through a hush; I miss you my friend.

I feel that someday the same fate awaits me
How close I have come to drifting in that windy haze
To again be near my lost friend, away from this pain
Yet I foresee the misery anguishing in the hearts;
Of those whom bonds I have forged
And I realize for now, the winds are free from me.

When all your summer's joy'd and joyous gone
What beauty kept, that golden days not melt?
Yourself dispose of them when winter's won
And leave to cold, but now to yours have felt,
The furrowed on your skin, the time you waged
Against the jewels left, once from their gained
But they with grace and glow do wear their aged,
It's you with wrinkles tied your spirit waned,
For ravaged is your cover, as within-
Now spurned outdone to self, now aged alone;
Not by your arm holds one of beauty's sin
It's end that must withhold and let atone.

But if those summers be the best again
Then wait no thought, shall they the same as then!

When I do love you'll know you have been loved
For heart's like mine do serve it's Queen's own suit
And shame with whom this pride yet cheats by gloved.
As twenty plus that two has no refute,
Deny tho' him by playing then again
Yet shows on red the black the false accrued;
Then she would query this: the tell of vain;
And read beyond the card, his hand delude!
But play do I for greater stake from you:
You'll be my Queen when all the Kings are dealt
And tho' me be a Jack or Ace or two
It's they my love I bluff, by you I've knelt.

Your graceful turn, oh holder of all hearts
To play for love? Or break me into parts!

Before the lonesome blackness comes, let know
By candle lit, your light lives in new breath
And bless-ed birth your fairest self bestow:
No beauty cease in-all, in ceaseless death,
For you're as young again as you saw waned
Tho' mine views youth of new and yours the same-
But eyelids drape with drops of salty stained-
Abundant tears, since they're now where it came.
As you thereon, shall I thereon have grew-
And lover's flower made have blossomed on,
That there in time, times two extend of you
And onward glow past that have known you gone.

But shall not tears wet on our future tree,
Despite your state shall prove, you outlive me.

Behind the thoughtless rush that rules my dome;
Rebels a thought to it's impermanence
Infrequent tho', as sweet aromas roam
Intoxicating even doubting sense;
Yet lingers still, equating 'bout an itch
Compounding by her crowding please of eyes;
Aware that grace, in beauty's grace may switch,
And swells of mindless bliss reveal, it dies.
But dreary blinds and lovelessness is death;
A dormant tease with none, left begging more
No! What may loose denotes the counting breath!
The lessee on my neck is there, therefore;

Retitled sovereign, governing this lease
Till by dethrones herself or life to cease.