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Nemusa Jan 5
A day of trembling, fevered dread,
Sweat and shivers, the mind half-dead.
In and out of a fractured stream,
Words like bubbles, a haunted dream.

He said, "Get washed, dressed, let's go to town,"
A voice so light while I wore the frown.
Oh, the chaos of his naive plea,
To step from the shadows that swallowed me.

I tried, I dressed, my hands like ice,
The night a storm of inner fights.
Panic surged, the walls closed tight,
A flightless bird in endless night.

Later, calm, his words rang true,
"You must attack what frightens you.
Face your fears, don't waste away,
Let life unfold; don't drift astray."

Oh, if courage were so easily sown,
A seed to sprout in the unknown.
But I’ll try, though brittle and torn,
To find my strength where fears are born.
Nemusa Dec 2024
Your tongue,
a blade that remembers
where I am softest,
where the scar tissue is thinnest.
You wield it without hesitation.

You ask for acceptance
as if I owe it
to the thing that has hollowed me out,
made me flinch at shadows,
left me raw and singing
with wounds I did not choose.

Sorrow has blackened the horizon.
The future—
a thing I used to believe in—
is now a quiet ache
that hums under my skin.

I flinch at your sarcasm.
It’s a whip,
a steady rhythm of harm
I cannot outrun.

And the problem you refuse to see—
it is breathing.
It is alive.
It soars above me like a black kite,
leaving me marked in ways
I can never explain.

I search for home
as though it’s a place that exists,
a place that will hold me
without splintering.

But you—
you crown yourself in their love
while their laughter
cuts you from behind.
Every sacrifice I make
is a ghost.

You hand them my offerings,
giving them weight they do not deserve.
And here I stand,
naked of hope,
bare of safety,
still whispering your name
like a prayer
to a god who doesn’t answer.
Nemusa Dec 2024
I’ve seen the future,

it looks a lot like this.

Your eyes, full of old fights

we never had, but should have.

We carry on, hands full of silence.
Up early again, can't sleep but shattered, now watching a ****** movie to take my mind off the pain and my thoughts.
Not my usual style.

— The End —