600 I love yous
600 different meanings
600 of the same intent

Where did that go
I don’t know
I just miss the afterglow

Is this real?
Yesterday life was life
I could feel happiness
Now I’m numb
I still feel pain
It won’t go
I still feel sick
It won’t ever go
And after all of this
I’m still hopeful
Who made me like this
I’m not good at heartbreak
Even after a fourth time

I have no one
Nobody to tell me it’ll be okay
Nobody to support me
Nobody to hold me

I’m alone
Left in my puddle of sorrow
This is me
This is Sean

He’s not evil
He’s not some stupid boy
He doesn’t intentionally hurt people
He just gets damaged

I’m so broken
I’m not even broken
I’m so lost
That, I am

I don’t know how to act
If I live my life
If I drop it all
I can’t even think of any future

One night
Took it all away
And nobody to blame
I don’t know what schemes went on

I’m just left here
Completely alone
No friends, no support, no nothing
Empty

I thought I couldn’t cry
I didn’t know why
Now I know
You kept me whole

I miss you
I’m trying to be strong
But it’s really hard
Not to worry you or anything

I don’t want to be here
Or anywhere
Unless I’m talking to you
I miss you

I know I wasn’t here
I’m trying to be
I just don’t want to mess up
I don’t want us to run into problems

I’m scared
I have one vulnerable point in my life
And that’s being stressed
It makes me feel sick

But it’s okay
I still love you
And I miss you baby
I hope you’re getting better

Keys
MY keys
For MY car
My brother in the passenger seat
Of MY car
My mom in the back seat
Still my car!

I pray first gear will be smooth
Somehow everyone’s head stayed still
I shift to second
Can’t win all your battles…
But I’m smiling
Not because I know where I’m going
I know who I’m going to

We pull in to the Wa
I’m not sure if I locked my car
My mind is racing
I feel nervous-
But in a lovey dovey feel

I lay my eyes on her
She smiles
I smile back
Not on purpose-
I felt like it-
Similar to a dog wagging its tail

We order our food
I walk to the drinks
There she is
The most beautiful person I’ve ever seen
My favorite girl-
My baby

Somehow I manage to stumble on a hi
Who does that?
I wait to make a stupid quip
Since when am I careful on my quips??
I can’t stop looking into her gorgeous eyes
Why can’t I stop feeling in love???

Soon I watch her walk back
I can’t help but eye her down
Not that she isn’t anything I haven’t seen
She’s not something ever worth drifting from-
Even with just my eyes

And in that moment
I feel safe
My public anxiety fails to hold me down
My world is right here
I’m sticking by it
Even as I stall the car at the stop sign…