I’m too tired
To process
I’m just gonna keep doing this

I do blame you
Like actually
In my mind

I’m writing my thoughts right now

So you wondered what my overthinking was

It’s like this

Except you made it under representing
Of how I should be thinking
Because you couldn’t be good

Thanks for that

Too good to be true
That’s your theme
The theme I didn’t accept
The theme I should’ve stayed with
But instead
You reeled me back in
Let me believe that wasn’t to last
Just to tell me
We were too good to be true

I can’t even care anymore
About anything
I just wish the pain to be gone
But I know it’ll never go
Just *****
That you had to be worth it like that
But not for a good reason

I’m ******
Not only because
You lied several times
You broke about thirty promises
And hurt me
REALLY
Hurt me
Several times
But because I saw through all it
And let you break my heart thrice

Once, shame on me
Twice, that’s my fault for not seeing it again, shame on me again
Thrice???
Now that’s your own **** fault
SO sorry!
But there’s definitely some anger pent up
I can’t even focus
On anything

I’m just
Mad
Angry
Confused??
I shouldn’t be
Because I know you don’t care
If you did you’d decide for us
Not to save your own skin
Every **** decision you make
Is for your benefit
Dragging me along twice
Oh sorry, thrice
And hurting me every step of the way
You know, it’s childish
Like honestly
Just give up

And sorry for not cussing you out
I’d definitely be doing that
But this is my school mac
I’m sitting in English
Ignoring my work
Stomach in knots
Brain and heart aching
I can’t do this
I can’t do without you
It’s not fair
The fact that the only way you can pay me back for what you’ve done is to be here
ANd you say you can’t even do that
This is just, this is ridiculous
Because you made me care
And I was all for it
And you left
I’ve never left
I never will
But I hate you for this
For everything
And when I get, or got, “sassy”??
That was for you
Because of you
I can’t stand this
I don’t want to do this anymore
It’s not worth it
Because you made it worth it
Even with a thousand deep cuts
Piercing my heart
As you do, miss heartbreaker

So you don’t just get one
You get two!
And probably several more as I overthink
Because in the end it won’t matter
Nobody cares
They don’t see me hurting
They don’t think what it must be like
To be disappointed by everyone at every turn
I’m not allowed to make mistakes
But everyone else I must forgive

It doesn’t make any sense
I’m just a person of hurt
For myself
I watch others cause it for me
If I’m not careful
I can let someone do all the damage
Revert all my progress
Not only can I not lean on people
I can’t live
Because god forbid if I’m happy
The whole world will crumble

And here
THIS
Is a perfect–
The perfect example
I’m not allowed to have happiness
Nobody truly cares
Because while my needs go out the window for everyone else
They can’t do a quarter of that for me

It’s okay!
I’m just going to hate you
I won’t tell a soul anything
Not about the purple hearts
The promises
The compliments
Because I’m not evil
Unlike some

I can’t stop writing
I don’t care about getting a zero in this ****** class
I couldn’t care less about English
Because I can’t care about myself anymore

I only wish for one thing
An easy way out
Thank you!!
For making my life hell again

You could’ve left it at the spring and summer blues
You didn’t need to make the fall heartbreak terminal
And DEFINITELY not now
You didn’t need to take my heart a year later
**** April
Is that like a lucky month for you
You gotta break Sean’s heart in April right??

But it’s okay
I really don’t care
I just hope you enjoy it
Every cut
Every moment you think of me
I ask one thing okay
Remember who did this
And I’m going through it
More than you could fathom
Don’t feel sorry
It’s on you
You can’t help it
I suffer for you
Isn’t that enough

It’s so fair
For you
Because you just let life decide for you
Everyone else I mean
And maybe one day they won’t be life and you'll be alone
Then we’ll finally be twinning
Because that’s where I belong
Because of you
And I wonder if that means you do too
Sean the loner
Cool
Thanks for the title
Master manipulator
(Who can’t make a single decision to not hurt anyone)