I've been noticing how hurt I feel,
I've been noticing how happy I am around people,
I've been wondering are these feeling a mask or is this real.

I wish I didn't care so much about people,
I wish I wasn't so nice like I am,
I wish I didn't get hurt over things I shouldn't,
I wish I didn't have the heart I have because all it does is hurt my mind and soul,
I wish I had a heart of coal not a heart of gold.

How much longer do I have?
How much longer till my time is cut short.
How much longer till the crack in my hour glass brakes and all the sand starts falling out.

I've been wondering "how special am I to you?"
You come to me with all you're feelings.
You come to me to calm down.
You come to me with everything and You make sure I'm ok and you feel sad when I'm not.
You have noticed we're quite alike.
Sometimes I wonder "how special am I to you?"

The love I want is where the girl jumps and gives me a hug where I almost fall because she didn't see me for a long time.
The love I want is being able to be me and not having to worry.
The love I want is where I can sit and cry while being held.
The love I want is where I'm not used.
The love I want is the girl is obsessed with me.
The love I want is being able to play games with the girl that loves me.
The love I want is that kind of love.

All I want to do is cry when I think about you.
All I want to do is cry when I think about the life I really want to have.
All I want to do is cry when I realize I can't have what I want.
All I want to do is cry because I'm struggling to hide how I feel.
All I want to do is cry realizing I can't have my happy ending like I want.