"nobody wants broken things...

so who would want a broken person?"

—  she thought.

sometimes i hate how
i can put my life on hold
& forget about my own well being
just to solve someone else's problems...

all the time, i say to myself:

"i am not jesus...
i am not buddha...
i cannot save everybody."

they call it being "kind"
but they don't know that helping people
but being unable to help yourself
can be a form of self destruction too.

all the time,
they tell her that
she "deserves better"
yet nobody is willing
to give it to her.

i think i was created
                to

b       r       e        a         k

                so
that other people may feel
           WHOLE.

Words can harm, soothe or charm
Very differently they can be used
By people, who might not be enthused
To look after what they are saying

Many people, who are getting hurt
By unwisely chosen words
Words as powerful and deadly as weapons can be
Too late to apologize and say sorry

Be careful using the word
As you might regret, whom they hurt
Actioms that can not be undone
Horrible the consequences may be

I gave you everything I had
Receiving nothing in return
You are making me feel bad
You are making my heart burn
Sitting here lonely and depressed
Turning all the anger towards myself
Why do I feel so **** stressed
The feelings messing with my health
But you don't seem to care
A situation I should have predicted
No love that you could share
Why do I feel so conflicted

How can we eat while others starve?
How can we sleep at night while others don't have a place to sleep?
How can we deny help facing those who lost everything?
Saying we don't have the funds
Yet we waste food and money.
Locking out those who are desperate for help
Closing our eyes
On which point did humanity die?

One pulls me down in a sea of tenderness
safe gentle lapping waves of love and comfort
so soothing like a warm summer pond in the south
He is my anchor

The other loves me like a wild forbidden passionate rush
an all consuming type of love, making the world disappear
clinging to a life raft in a turbulent sea
He is my storm

Enticing waters with the luminous waves that can tempt the dead from their bed. My soul longs for both. I cannot drift off to peaceful sleep until the waves of desire find their sweet release. A wondrous storm of love in a turbulent sea or a steadfast anchor that has taken hold on a part of me

When I try to be social
I miserably fail
I act like a butterfly
But all to no avail
So then I decided
To just hate them instead
Cause people don't give a ****
Unless you're pretty or dead
Now this pretty butterfly
Was really just a worm
Who learned the hard way
Of picking rose with its torn
Now she's digging into the Earth
Getting ready for her slumber
And if one day she succeed
She might just sleep forever


© Leigh Herondale  *September 2015

You used to make me nervous
And I liked that.

Now you make me nervous
And I want to die.