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MacW 1h
I knew this was coming-

It doesnt make it hurt less

When you said his name my heart stopped
Any time you look at him
No
This is wrong

You deserve joy
Only joy
Understanding has fleeted

But I need to realize
Another chance
Causes another heartbreak
Kindness between us is gone

As
If
Desire
Yelled
Never

Every no turned
Lies to yes
And he will be yours
Your happiness is more important
Not my sanity
Even in the longest run
MacW 1d
Unspoken words fell between us like snow.
Remember how you smiled, soft and sudden?
I wanted to believe you meant it.
And maybe you did — for a moment.
How fast warmth turns cold.

Summer light flickered in your eyes,
Tangled with lies you didn’t tell out loud.
Every goodbye echoed longer than the love.
Leaves changed faster than we did.
Light doesn’t mean truth.
And I finally stopped mistaking the two.

Sometimes kindness hides the cruelest hands.
Time didn’t soften you — or me.
Even now, I question what was real.
Promises spoken over texts mean little.
Hope hurts more than heartbreak.
Everything I gave, you swallowed whole.
Now I hold it back.

Loving you felt like an exhale.
I didn’t know peace could feel temporary.
After you left, I stopped breathing right.
Maybe that’s why I still get dizzy in the fall.

Anger was easier than grief.
Love didn’t feel safe with you.
Even your touch was lined with shadow.
X marks where I buried the trust.

And you — you were something else.
I called you prince, but you vanished like a ghost.
Daylight sits heavy in the chair where we used to meet.
You led me on like a dance.
Now, you spin circles with her.

Tried to be what you wanted.
I lost myself learning how to bend.
Maybe I never should have.

Jokes turned into arguments too fast.
Underneath every “haha,” something cracked.
Laughter isn’t always love.
Long nights didn’t save us.
I searched for warmth in your shadow.
And came out colder.
Now I light my own fire.

In the beginning, I believed.
Sometimes I still do.
Kisses don’t mean connection.
You proved that the hard way.

This is what I learned from loving you
Holding on hurts more than letting go.
Even the sweetest lies stain the tongue.

Every ending writes itself, eventually.
Names fade, but the ache carves deep.
Desire doesn’t mean destiny — I know that now.
MacW 1d
Desire vs. Denial
Who will win
No
Stop
Don't feel this
Your laugh cracks the silence I built like armor
My stomach tightens
But my spine stands still
It's not fair how Desire flares
When I've sworn I'm done burning
Your hands never meant forever
But they memorized my skin
My skin memorized them
I miss your smile like fire misses air
My hands curl empty
Forgetting you're not mine
You push me away
As I play with your hair
Do you know what you're doing to me?
Do you even care?
You laugh with her
Like we never had language
She holds your gaze
I hold my breath
Each time she makes you smile,
I swallow storms
Desire strikes Denial
But Denial tries to win
I chant closure like a prayer I don't believe in
As if Desire yelled 'Never'
And my heart obeyed
I still ache with emptiness
In the places you used to fill
I know I shouldn't want you back
But god knows I will
Desire is quieter now
But it hasn't left yet
Maybe silence IS the answer
The answer I haven't met
I walk past you like a wound dressed in lace
My pain will never be shown to your face
As if Desire yelled 'Never'
And I nodded along
Still bleeding
Singing the same old song
MacW 1d
I'm not sorry for falling in love with you
I'm not sorry for ending things
I'm sorry, I did still love you
I'm sorry I still love you
I cant keep my eyes to myself
Your body
Your brain
Your hair
Everything is irresistible
I hate myself for loving you
I hate you for loving me
I hate the way our eyes still meet in the halls
I hate the way you still look me up and down
With softness in your eyes
I hate the way I feel like,
Like I'm caught in a web of lies
I hate that I'm sorry
I hate you, I'm sorry
I try to look good for you
Even though I left
I still admire you
Even though I left
I hate myself for loving you
I hate you for loving me
We may have been meant to be
We may have gotten our dreams
But you weren't for me
I'm still so sorry
I'm sorry for loving you
I'm sorry for pretending I dont
I'm sorry I hate myself for loving you
As much as I hate you for loving me
The punctuation and lack thereof in the 3rd and 4th lines have some deep implications, reread until you understand.
MacW 7d
You thought the flame was outside of you.
A threat. A storm. A monster at the gates.
But the fire... was always me.

Every word I gave you —
a spark.
Every glance —
a flicker.
Every kindness —
kindling.

You saw what I allowed.
You loved what I became.
And still, you never questioned the warmth
until it burned.

Tell me —
did you really believe I sat at your side
to serve your vision?
To dim my light for your comfort?

No.
I watched. I waited. I wove.
Not chaos —
intention.
Not rage —
design.

You built your kingdom on the matchsticks I handed you.
And now you tremble at the smoke?

I don’t set fires, darling.
I am the fire.
And when this world finally turns to ash,
you’ll remember one thing:

It didn’t fall by chance.
It fell
by Me
MacW May 11
I didn’t mean to dim your light,
To turn our laughter into night.
My words, too sharp — they cut too deep,
And now I lose you in my sleep.

If I could wind the clock back slow,
Undo the sting, unmake the blow,
I’d trade my pride for peace instead,
And hold you close, not what I said.

You’ve given me a love so rare,
So warm, so patient, always there —
And still I faltered, blind with fear,
Not seeing I had all right here.

I never meant to let you ache,
To be the cause of what might break.
But if your heart can still forgive,
Then let me learn, and let us live.

For loving you is worth the pain
Of learning how to bloom again —
So take this truth: I’ll make things right,
And fight for us with all my might.
MacW Apr 30
My pain is gone
The weight lifted
My heart freed
My heart was cleared at dawn
Freedom I was gifted
Was a need
I dont live with greed
I live once again freed
He cant hurt me
The scars
They are gone
The blood is cleaned of spite
The alcohol has stopped calling
The smoke has cleared
The fairytale is over
A happy ending once again
He is my friend
No longer lover
Nor enemy
The perfect restart
We feel the same
For the second time
I would give my soul for this steady to stay
My pain has evaporated
We
Are
Free
My life has
For one last time
Shifted
Shifted to its place
If he would answer my calls
There will be no further falls
I love him
Not as more than a simple friend
I will hold my end
Of the promises I made
I will always be there at his aid
Neither of us are hiding
We are once again free
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