i don't know when but
i stopped receiving invitations,
i was already running low-
low on the number of people i could count,
they say everything happens for a reason
i also know that much now,
but i hate that it all happened to me
fate made me realise in the cruelest way possible,
that i'm on my own on these empty roads
yet it's good to walk alone, knowing i'm alone

from a place of sadness and heartbreak
i write this as i say

"now i always disappear on people,
you see this has been a great escape
others first performed this one on me
when i almost lost my sanity"

i slowly disappeared from my friends life
so the call lines finally end up rusting
before any betrayal comes my way
this is my new greatest way to love, live and escape

they all pushed me to the edge
and i fear this poet quickly adapted with it
everyone left after they entered, with sirens in the background
that told me enough and about the need to survive
everyone killed a version of me
yet i fight, heading back into my safe space
a circle that is very small
and only holds space for this poet

all you wanted was the closure i never got
when you expressed the will to reunite
your crime was to abandon us at a time
when the need for a savior was too high

i got your message and plea in my court
you stood like a fool and defended your crime
calling my convictions a theatrical show
and apologizing in the end after stabbing a dagger

the closest of my friend chose to desert me
your letter never engraved a word called sorry
but you shamelessly pleaded your case
that how it was me who was the problem

the closes of my friend chose to desert me
the one keeping a record of my wishes, my muse
and all the untold secrets i never refused to tell
every second chance was a new way to betray

maybe you are happy with your new friends
maybe you are happy with your new found love
maybe you are happy with chasing your dreams
maybe i'm happy with you no longer being in life

i'm this dramatic poet who should direct a theater
my friend returned to me after committing infidelity
i'm not his lover but a savior when he is in crisis
i wrote this plea as a way to channel my emotions

no real friend would play with your feelings
to have a control over how you feel
misleading remains the biggest cause
why so many never come out alive in this game

no real friend would undermine this bond
unless they never considered it from beginning
to some being craved is the one great thing
no matter even if the cost is a friendship

lies were fed for months in his head
that maybe there could be a thing in between
lies were shattered on the night of big reveal
when other confessed saying, "i knew it"

losers made me realise what i'm really good at
throwing hands was never my way to fight
until they arrived and
i broke what was broken by them

i found a way to turn this pain into art
every betrayal that came my way
changed my view about a friend
including the way i see this thing called friendship