waking up in a haze,
wondering what day it is.
nights blurring into the next,
trying to pull myself together.
lost, confused, wondering:
what the hell is wrong with me?
is this just a phase?
is this post-traumatic response
or recovery?
because everything seems
to go too fast, or
way too slow,
and i think
i'm gonna breakdown.
stupid toxic tendencies,
i keep trying every day,
and it's oh-so exhausting.
imagine an enemy,
only you can see—
man vs. self,
back to the basics
of healing and discovery.
fighting the bad thoughts,
just to get another day.
so tired and over it,
i gotta claw my way out,
or i'll never truly be set free.