We were four,
a balanced kind of chaos,
laughing in even numbers.

But now,
it feels like three voices
always reach the other first.
Three steps ahead,
three inside jokes,
three plans whispered
just loud enough.

They say, "It's just for now,"
that I'm still one of them.
But even when books are closed,
their world keeps spinning,
and I'm left
outside of gravity.

Sometimes I wonder,
is it them who've changed?
Or have I?

I love being their friend.
I love them.
But I hate being the silence
in a room
full of noise
that once included me.