She is a dog.                   She is my sister
Your half sister.             We share our trauma
She bites.                        She was neglected
She barks.                       It’s not her fault
She’s dangerous.           Her owner is dangerous
I hate her.                        I love her
She pees on my bed.     My dad locks her in my old room
We are so different.        We are so similar
So far apart.                     So very connected

Blood
Pours
Down
Onto
Skin

Pain
Pain
Pain

I am alive
I am screaming for help
It is silent
Like my cry

Why
Why
Why

I think it’s gotten to the point
Where only poetry can save me

They said I’ve changed
That I’m different than I was in September
That they liked her more

Of course they did
She was another dead fish going with the stream
She was scared
She didn’t want to make them upset

She tried to pretend that she was sane
That she was normal

She was sad
All the time
She was trying not to cry

She’s gotten better
Why is that not good enough for you?

The scars are starting to heal
Don’t make me make new ones

I wonder,
wander,
falter.

Back — forth.

Now I’m
backed in the corner.
Silence is comfortable
to move in.

For the fourth time?

Back — forth.

Running,
cowering,
to cover my back.

But love seems to burst
forth from my gut.

Back — forth.

Singing,
humming—
it’s quiet.

But it’s sweet,
and now you’re back.

And I can’t seem
to bring the strength forth.

Back — forth.

P- pages torn from books coated in prophesies  
R- razor blades slice through memories
O- open wounds drip crimson blood upon chalk stars
P- pen drawn runes coat your skin drawn in black ink
H- haloed in holy fire angels descended with knife blade wings
E- eyes gunmetal grey rimmed with puffy red highlights
T- they call you proclaimer, gods words carved into your bones.

Everything's wrong
But I know it's not
The future is happening
How can I make it stop?
I'm scared to death
I'm scared to live
I hate myself
I take a breath
Look in the mirror
I bite my tongue
I feel the fear
Plunge so deep
Even before it comes
Anxiety keeps me
From climbing the steep

Drink some water
Eat something
Write a poem
Take a walk
Just sit there and exist for a moment

It’s okay
Nothing really matters anyway