Ludden

Ludden Mar 21

The final goodbye
Its not a surprise
I pushed so hard
Saw it happening
Couldn't stop it
Loathed myself for it

The final goodbye
I thought would hurt more
But it feels self inflicted
Which took the sting
I already felt empty
Now it feels complete

The final goodbye
They say it's sweet sorrow
Why did I make it bitter
And the worst part is knowing
If I wound up back there
I couldn't help it a second time

- Ludden Soss

This past week has been the crescendo to one of the worst two month stretches I've ever experienced. Tragic loss, a relationship sliding away, health issues, and then the final gut punch of that relationship ending with a thud. I hope this poem that I wrote tonight after the final nail was put in the coffin will be the closure we all look for when great things end.

Ludden Mar 21

Digging

Just keep digging
Keeping busy
Going deeper
Until the memories fade away

Just keep digging
Deeper still
Lower and lower
Convinced you can run away

Just keep digging
Until you find
The sudden truth
Her face will never go away

Ludden Mar 21

The Wound

The wound is fresh
The pain so raw
Seems like it will never heal
As I cling to the thought
Of what might have been

As healing starts
Panic replaces pain
Scrambling to pick the scab
To feel the blood flow
The wound is fresh again

It keeps trying to heal
But I'm afraid to forget
To let go of the hurt
I need it be raw
The wound begins to scar

Time heals all wounds
I hear thats what they say
Why can't I let time
Heal what's wrong with me
The wound is all I have left of you

Ludden Mar 20

Give Me Back My Music

She's so high
Higher
I fall to pieces
Crawling
Hanging by a moment
Its the end of the world as we know it

I miss you
In the end
A last resort
Nothing to lose
A lonely day
Its been a while
I'm in too deep

I stand alone
Lost
In the meantime
The last fight
The final countdown
No more sorrow
Nobody's listening

One step closer
One last breath
One week
Only happy when it rains
It's how you remind me
But I'm rusted from the rain
Sad but true

Say something
Send the pain below
Shake it out
Smile and wave
Somewhere out there
The sound of madness
But I'll leave a light on for you
Nothing else matters
Just let it be

- Ludden Soss

I got tired of seemingly every song I heard reminding me of someone. So I started going through my library and stringing song titles together. Every line in this song is a different song title

Ludden Mar 20

The Void

Looking into the void
Trying to find hope

Looking into the void
Trying to find promise

Looking into void
Trying to find happiness

Looking into the void
But you weren't there anymore

Ludden Mar 20

No One Understands

Let it go
Get over it
Life moves on
The words echo
From all corners of the world
No one ever understands

Just need to open up
To ask for help
But even when they listen
From behind judgemental eyes
No one ever understands

Every time a door closes
They say another opens
But lately they just slam shut
No one ever understands

I'm dying of thirst
In an ocean of salt water
No one ever understands

Will this self pity ever end
No one ever understands

No one ever understands

- Ludden Soss

This is one of the few times I found some symbolism beyond the raw emotion. The words are still raw, but look deeper

Ludden Mar 20

Desperation

Please make it stop
The hurt
The pain
The thoughts
The loss
The emotion
The tears

She doesn't deserve
The words
The torment
The blame
The guilt
The stress
The anguish

I promised there would be
No anger
No resentment
No hatred
No pressure
No expectations
No sadness

But it won't stop.
The verses keep coming
In my heart I know
I've kept my promises
Though I know it doesn't seem it

- Ludden Soss