Maria

Feb 27

Xio

They loved me bright, they loved me wild, until my light was not their style.

Maria Feb 26

My current life is in rewind mode.
I’m looking for answers. I’m looking for codes.
Calmness for me is like a ghost.
I’m looking for answers. They are foremost.

There’s no need for sorrow, no need for cry.
It counts for nothing. It's all a lie.
I need to find the very twist.
But time doesn’t slow down at least.

I’m going backwards. My memory’s tricky.
It keeps all in mind. It is so sticky.
I rake up all: how loved, how fought,
How I forgave, and how I sought.

I spilled into ash, but I got up.
I saved myself, but others closed up.
I’m digging, throwing, looking for answers.
It beats me whole. It’s like a cancer.

What if that's all a fiction, a wrong?
Like the Atlantis, sunk too long.
A legend, which is almost forgotten.
And me, who wasn’t loved as a rotten.

And now I’m going back again,
Ridiculous, clumsy, unhelpful, mundane.
My world relocated a long time ago.
It’s an emptiness warehouse, a storage of Echo.

This poem is a kind of revelation, a confession. It is too important and too pain. Thank you for reading it.

#life #rewind #calmness #answer #lie #twist #memory #tricky #sticky #ash

Maria Feb 24

Hello, my wrinkle!

Hello, my darling! How do you feel?
What are you doing? Don’t be so shy!
Don’t worry, honey, I won’t leave you.
Come on, go into! Maybe tea with a pie?

I’ve caught sight of you for a long time.
I’ve simply kept quite about it.
And before you noticed me yourself,
I studied you whole, to be truthful of it.

I knew we’d have to go inseparably
Though life together until the end.
I won’t deny, I wasn’t thrilled with
That part of journey. But I couldn’t contend.

I realize the years take their toll.
Don’t get me wrong. I will be sad a short time.
But I am sane and I am sighted.
And I conceive in whole that mine is mine.

I won’t cry and I won’t rueful.
I’m ready to take you all with no trace.
Come in, my wrinkle. You see, I’m not boring.
Come here! And let me hug you, my Grace!

It's a sort of salutary ode to the Wrinkle. :)) I hope you'll smile as I am. :))

#darling #shy #honey #life #years #wrinkle #grace

Maria Feb 22

We’re different

We’re different, you and me, we’re different
As if we’re made in different worlds indeed,
As if we’re fed on different dew furthermore,
As if we’re covered by different felt on creed.

We’re strange, you and me, we’re strange.
We should go away in all directions, in whole,
Not to be for all, not to touch each other,
To be walled-up behind different walls at all.

We’re crazy, you and me, we’re crazy.
We’ve tried to run away both so often.
But our fate has marked us with a “cancel” sign
And simply decided not let us go, just no one.

We’re different, you and me, we’re different
As if bitter frost and caressing spring in other way.
We have different palettes, you and me, different palettes.
But the canvas is one, one for two of us, anyway.

And we have to paint our further life by the will of fate,
In four hands on one canvas therefore.
You know, I don’t like to paint and I’m not good at it.
I’ll better hold the palettes for you evermore.

#different #strange #wall #crazy #cancel #frost #spring #palettes #fate #canvas

Maria Feb 20

A glass of wine

A glass of wine, a rainy evening…
The window’s wide open, the candles blink.
The wind is trying to put them out.
Silence fills her. No need to think.

She feels good, and no need to hurry.
Tears of heaven delight the ear.
She has no friends. She has no girlfriends.
And only her cat is always near.

She is contented with her aloneness.
There’s no fluster or moping at all.
She’s pleased with herself and she is honest
With her own conscience and with her soul.

She doesn’t want any loving thrills,
No worrying, no passions, no needless doubts.
All is got over. Nothing remains.
Enough as it were so many fouls.

The wine is drunk. The evening is chilly.
The window’s wide open. The candles went out.
She calmly goes to pure bedroom.
No need to hurry. And all is out.

#wine #evening #candles #wind #silence #tears #aloneness #fluster #moping #honest

Maria Feb 18

Shhh! It’s enough!

I’ve got to pull myself together.
I’m loss.
I’m scattered roughly by the wind,
Back and forth.
I’ve fallen to the ground, and all crows
Are on top.
They’re circling, circling, restless devils,
And don’t stop.
Shhh! Fly away! I’m going to.

I’ve got to restore myself to this body.
It’s the right way.
My body's awkward, enfeebled indeed –
Just get away!
I’ve lived in it, learnt a lot in it.
I swear!
I’ve loved, created, broken and lost, but lived
Just anywhere!
Shhh! Right-on. It’s my body.

It’s time to go out. There’s nothing to do here
At all.
No need to catch emptiness or uselessly freak
For all.
Believe, disbelieve, wait or don't wait
Any more.
It’s time to go out. I don’t want to stay here.
What for?
Shhh! It’s enough! I've got tired of lies.

#roughly #wind #crows #devils #restore #body #awkward #enfeebled #emptiness #freak

Maria Feb 17

My only one!

I saw you off that day. I exiled you!
You came back to me the very same as a pigeon.
You flew through the opened door deliberately
And wisely as if it should be so. You were sure in.

I packed you off that day. I removed you.
You returned to me like you didn’t even notice.
You closed the door behind, looked steadily
And smiled as if you were looking at an Indian lotus.

I forbade you to suffer privations with me that day.
You as though didn’t get it and stopped at the same thing.
You made fresh tea and stayed by my side that day
And began to make silly jokes to set me kookily laughing.

I don’t let you go! I’ll keep you close to me everywhere.
I’m stuck to you! I’m trapped inside you in whole!
If you didn’t go that day, then stay evermore, for all time.
I love you much! I need none other in my life at all.

#deliberately #wisely #steadily #indian #lotus #suffer #jokes #love #evermore