◇

I have so much fight
to get me through this life
my tongue, I sometimes bite
it can also cut like a knife

Many a determined fight, alone
although I never always realised that.
Fighting my corner at home
and at work, about this and that

Slowly realising, that alone it is
but I'm strong, so I won't submit
never showing my fears
not a single fight I would quit

It seemed like a good disguise
to carry around at the time
no one heard me cry or saw my tears
the many battles were 'all mine'

So now, there's no one there
who thinks I need defending
although there are many who care
just not aware that I need mending

I've created this situation myself
it seemed a good idea at the time
only I do often need help
and so long for a hero by my side

◇

○

The sun is setting
in the distance
It looks like a faraway land
beautifully exotic

I stare and wonder
feeling myself
being lifted,
gently
outside my bubble

I'm constrained to the small place
that I reside within
too often

I could almost cry
for myself
as I have given my mind
that much needed freedom

My soul is shining
glowing
like the setting sun

○

-◇-

I write,  

but I am not a poet

I feel emotions so intense
I spill them in ink across a page

but I am not a poet

I am forced to release thoughts
from my mind

but I am not a poet

my words are presented as I feel them
they do not make a poem

as I am not a poet

my senses view, smell, taste, hear and feel things
so differently from many

but I am not a poet

Phrases and images appear in my mind
I have to share these wondrous things

but I am not a poet

I am not sure what makes a poet.

This I will sit and quietly ponder,
reflect upon,
write about
because maybe,  just maybe

I am a poet

-◇-

□

If I'm unnecessarily hurt
I see no other choice
than to push you away
without even using my voice

I'll dig in my heels
I'm so stubborn it's true
can't even be bothered
to waste my anger on you

I'll immediately switch off
very quietly withdraw
wanting to be alone
and nurse these feelings so raw

Acting like a woman scorned
I need much time to forgive
won't be pushed to change my mind
not ready to say 'Live and let live'

It may seem an overreaction
but it's a curse from my past
I'll never take abuse again
there's no room for any more scars

□