Lostling

Lostling Apr 9

“Now you won’t be distracted.”
You took me away from my friend
“It’s for your own good.”
He was the only one keeping me sane
“You don’t talk in the middle of class anymore!”
You triggered my depressive days
“It’s only temporary.”
To think I actually believed you
“Are you okay?”
The audacity!

“Yeah, just tired.”

Overreacting to seat change =/

Lostling Apr 7

night talks

just you and me,
tucked in midnight's fold,
sharing the day
in murmurs only we hear

Short poem

#night #talking #stories

Lostling Apr 6

Unsent I

Dear Friends,

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for my apathy
and empathy, my lack of words. I'm sorry
for thinking of you as r-
replacements for... everyone
and everything I lost.
I'm sorry for
being
the way I am, that I'm not
what I used to be

I'm-
I'm sorry

Lostling Apr 1

Drafts

Ideas
Pile up

Thoughts—unfinished
Left unsaid

Fear.
Doubt.
Uncertainty.
So much uncertainty

Lostling Apr 1

无 (Nothing)

Do you ever wake up at 1am and ask yourself
“Why do they care?”
“Why should they care?”

Why do they listen
To things I say?
Constant rambling—
Everyday.

Why do they ask
‘Bout the tears that fall?
It’s “pick me” nature
After all.

Why do they care
If I shine or rain?
Always too much
Always a pain.

Why do they care
When my hands start to shake?
When my voice cracks,
When I bend til I break?

Why do they search
When I vanish, withdraw?
Worried voices calling
Frozen walls thaw

Do you ever wake up at 1am and ask yourself
“Do they really care?”

Lostling Mar 26

Appetite

Breakfast passes
Recess passes
Lunch passes too

It’s been twenty-something hours since I’ve eaten any food

I probably should.

But I’m not hungry and I don’t care.

#appetite #food

Lostling Mar 26

Mourning You; Alive

And suddenly I’m at your funeral
                                                                   again. Your body is

          bloodied, laying in the little, black, box.

                                                              Your face is marred.

Or maybe it’s my tears
                                                       that make me
                forget
                                                                                            how you look(ed)
              You shouldn’t be there.               I won’t be there.
                                              Unless you call for me.         But
                                                                              dead people don’t speak.

And then I’ll climb down to your bed
Just to make sure you’re still breathing

#death #loss #funeral