Lostling

Lostling 2d

Birds fly
So do I--
Lifted by your hands.
Paper *****,
Wrestled falls,
Laughter with no end.

Scars earned,
Lessons learned,
Gearing me for life.
Always here,
Support clear,
Pillar of my life.

He gives so much it feels like I'll never be able to repay him. One day when I get a stable job, I wanna get him a motorbike =))

Happy fathers day!
(Yes I am a say late T.T)

#fathers #day #love

Lostling 4d

Those are my socks

"Be flexible, the flexible ones are those who survive."

No.
We are the ones who get taken advantage of.
They see us bend once--
Heart stretching, limbs folding backwards--
We don't break.
Instead we always fix ourselves
A smile stretched across our faces.

And so they pull
Push
Twist
Yank
All because we're flexible
All because we can handle it

My sibling took my socks while we were packing for our trip, leaving me with less socks than needed. I found them and took them back. Then we got into a fight. Our mom told us that "flexible people are the ones who survive in the world."
Maybe she doesn't know what it's like to always give in, to be a pushover. Anyways so now I'm wearing shoes with no socks about to hike up a mountain cause I'm too ****** to unpack my luggage.
(I can reuse so I have enough, but she took what mine and I feel like no one cares)

#vent #frustration #socks #flexible #pushover

Lostling Jun 8

Too Much

Ping
4 unread messages from contact: Cookie Monster

Ping ping
173 unread messages from group chat: cat gang

Ping ping ping ping
392 unread messages from group chat: secret society

I'm drowning
In the words
Toomuchtoomuchtoomuch
Shutting down...

Mute chats?
Yes
Mark all as read?
Yes

Click

If I leave people on read, this is why.

#overwhelmed #messages #texts #shutdown

Lostling Jun 2

Unsent III

Dear Ela

    I wish I could put into words
    The way you made me feel—
    Loved and worthy, proud and strong.
    You helped my heart to heal

    So many times you held my hand,
    So many times I fell.
    So many days I’ll miss your voice
    When we’ve finished this farewell

    Thank you for all that you’ve done
    For choir (and for me)
    I wish you success, good health too
    And that you’ll be happy

With love, that one junior who always cries :P

This senior has been ridiculously kind and understanding to me, and I've been so blessed to have known her. Still, I can't find the courage to send her this, I dunno why.

#graduation #leaving #senior

Lostling May 31

Sheltered Walkways

As I walk down the path well well-worn
I find myself
Missing the caress of droplets
On my arms,
The quiet murmur as they reconciled with the ground--
sha.... sha....
The cold puddles slipping into socks
And the memory of your umbrella
As we danced in the rain.

I love walking in the rain. It's hard to do that when everything has become so sheltered...

#rain #shelter #past #missing #peace #remember

Lostling May 22

Dawn

I heard her today, you know—
A ghost of my past

And for a moment I forgot.
I forgot what life was like without her voice;

Clear, high, wavering yet confident,
Beauty slowly reclaiming attention from the inky flaws.

She wore a smile that wasn’t made of porcelain
But still fake, cause it wasn’t really real

For she had long faded, like cotton candy slowly melting in humid air,
Along with the wisps of my childhood.

But for the first time since the fall
The little boy began to dream of skies again

:)

#past #dream #healing #hope

Lostling May 13

Fading

I’ve faded into the background.

But it was done so slowly, like salt dissolving in water,
That don’t notice my silent ghost.

I wonder if they think about the sunny person I used to be.

The weird rowdy kid who hung out with both the boys and the girls

The one who eagerly answered questions in class,
So much so that the teacher had to ban them from answering

The confident one who could lead
Without self doubt drowning them

Sometimes I wonder
If they think of me at all

I suppose I only have myself to blame

#unnoticed #forgotten #fading #background #drifting