As the minutes drift into hours
I stare at the flowers
That died the day you left.

And they say keepers win in the war of finders,
But I'm not so sure.
Cos, the reminders
Of what used to be.
Have soured.
And I try and devour
Memories,
Spaces, faces, places
That we shared.
And I choke on some, and others slide down.
--

And I wander if I even cross your mind, my love
And do you remember the time
You said that you'd always be mine
And that forever was too short a time
For you and I.

Those lies you spun, like a spiders web,
Took place, built homes
Inside my head
And I didn't try to relocate
Because all I could do was appreciate
That someone finally cared.

And those memories that we shared,
Those faces, spaces and places
They're all so vivid.
I can smell the scent of your sweet perfume, and feel the water
Splash
When we went down that log floom
And we both held on so tight,
We were determined not to let eachother go. With all our might.
So what happened, my love?

What changed inside that beautiful frame of yours
What's the reason you began to close  all of those doors
And lock me out.
Cos it's strange to be a stranger
And I don't like the danger
That comes with
Not knowing who I am, or you were.
And the uncertainty of who we were together.
Cos the forever we promised
Has been and gone, and call me crazy
But I expected to hold on to it
A little longer.
I thought we were stronger.

Your honey gold hair hung
Down over your face
As you told me about these places and spaces that we shared
Could be no more

My world crashed and burned
And fizzled out
And I found new ammunition
To tear myself apart
To pull to pieces
My damaged heart.
And once I was done
I hung the picture frame
You threw onto the floor
On a sign on the doors,
Saying keep out.

And my barriers went up
But my walls crumbled down
Tell me,
Are you around, my love?

Are you laughing and smiling
And have you moved on...

2013 ©

Place your hands around the neck of expectation,
lace your fingers tight, with your friend, frustration
Take steps into a nation
too small to restrain you
too big to contain you
Too simple to explain you.

When did we
Come to the conclusion
That destroying houses
Is far more beautiful
Than creating them?

*When did we learn
It was okay
To break instead of build
Homes in others hearts?

Throw down your ammunition
i have enough to tear myself apart.

If every scar could write a story,
then inside of me lies a book.
If ever I dare dig deep enough,
to take a proper look.

To put pen to paper,
and bring to life, Past and Pain,
to scribble out
and exchange,
Words for Scars.
Reality and Truth.
To risk my foundations shaking,
my earth, Quaking.
and leaving me roofless
seems Ruthless.

If every scar could write a story,
then inside of me lies a book.
If ever I dare dig deep enough,
to take a proper look.

Our bed the paper
Our hands the words
Our lips the verse

Dribbling poetry
Tenderly caressing prose
The ink flows
This play is closed

We're onto something
We create magic
Between the sheets of love
Fireworks, sunsets, sunrise
Lust, passion
In our eyes

Our bodies entwined
Yours words and mine

We write together
In time together
We compliment eachother
A romance, a tragedy,
You and me

Our bed the paper
Our hands the words
Our lips the verse

If morning had never graced its presence that day,
Would you still have upped and gone away?
And if the sun had never shone that dawn,
Would I still be alone, this early morn?
If the stars had never ceased,
And the darkness had kept its presence,
If the night had never drew in
And the moon stayed ever crescent
Would you still be laying by my side
Would there still have been that change in tide?
Because since the seas direction changed
I've been left in the remains, off shore
Fighting for something,
Though for what I'm unsure.
I've been treading water at a steady pace,
But there's only so long, can race
Before time comes and takes our place.
And the seaweeds are starting to pull me under
And the clouds in my mind are starting to thunder,
I search desperately for shelter, solid ground,
I long to be found,
But the shift in tide has bound
Me
A daughter of the sea,
Alone, trapped in we.
And my heart lays heavy,
In a bottle of sherry
Too heavy to keep afloat
So send out your rescue mission
Your men and boats
But they will not find me,
I am entangled in chains,
And the remnants and remains
You cannot see.
So as I drown, in this bottle of whiskey
Consumed by the taste
From the last time you kissed me,
Fuelled by the solace at our loss of history
Do not try to save me,
You are the one who deserves to be free.

Some people walk into a room and light it up
She sets it on fire.

When I burn around my edges
And sometimes my very core
You shower me with your love,
When it rains it pours.

just because you can't see the stars it doesn't mean they're not shining.

And people wonder why I struggle to sleep
My answer
I forgot how to count sheep
After the night you sliced up my dreams and threw me into relentless nightmares.

She closed the door
On what could have been
Wiped the floor
Of what should have been
Cleared the shelves of our memories
Washing her hands
Of the eternity
That we had both promised.
She painted the walls, and decked the halls
With her new lovers pen
Changed the locks
So I couldn't see her again.
She wrote away our history
On a little post it note
And sent it in an envelope of
Divorce papers
She called in the painters and decorators
And started anew
Put to bed
All that we'd been through
And left me dangling
By a thread
Waiting for the phone to call
For any sign at all
That this wasn't true.
Waiting for the I love yous
That had warmed even the coldest of mornings
Better than any cup of coffee ever could
Waiting for the reassuring cuddles and kisses
That had made me feel so, so good.
Waiting
For
The one person who had always caught me, to catch me
As I fell
Head first into an abyss
Of late nights and stiff drinks
That she'd spent years, pouring down sinks.
But since she's been gone
I've picked up the bottle again
And it's began to throttle the pain.
So I drink down the past and remains in whiskey drops
Until the floor lures me
I lose sight of the clocks
And hit the decks.
If I was a pirate,
I'd make a mighty good ship mate
But as it is
I'm not and I'm late for work
And wearing odd socks
A shadow of the man I used to be.
And even my shadow doesn't recognise me.

There are horror stories lurking in the shadows of your eyes
That you try so desperately, to mask
To disguise
That you wrap up so carefully
In pretty little lies.

One thing you must realise
There's only so long you can hide
From the dark inside.

Your arms are the most beautiful of homecomings.

If it has the potential to break you
It has the potential to make you.

In you lies
the promise of better tomorrows
the most beautiful of tomorrows.

In loving me, you taught me to love myself.

*In forgiving me, you taught me to forgive myself.

To aspire and inspire, to analyse, criticise, to encourage, share, support and advise.

She took the stars right out of the sky and planted them in the pupils of my eyes.

You're a constellation of stars
The only constellation of stars
In my sky.

I want to feel
my legs shake,
as you create an
earth quake
inside of me
that'll leave me quivering
for days.

There's not a doubt in my mind that she has my heart
I see it
Every time I look into her eyes.

Sometimes things have to fall apart,
to make way,
for a better beginning, a fresh start,
at least that's what you told me,
the night you tore out my heart.

If you were a book
I would run out of ink underlining all of my favourite things about you.

There are things your only your eyes have ever seen
Places that only you have ever touched
Memories created
That have never meant so much.

There'd be no need to bleed
a pen of its ink
if only I had the ability 
to decipher what I think.

One seed of doubt gets planted in my mind and suddenly I'm lost in a jungle.

You pulled the foundations I'd spent years forming
Right from under me

If morning had never graced its presence that day,
Would you still have upped and gone away?
And if the sun had never shone that dawn,
Would I still be alone, this early morn?
If the stars had never ceased,
And the darkness had kept its presence,
If the night had never drew in
And the moon stayed ever crescent
Would you still be laying by my side
Would there still have been that change in tide?
Because since the seas direction changed
I've been left in the remains, off shore
Fighting for something,
Though for what I'm unsure.
I've been treading water at a steady pace,
But there's only so long, can race
Before time comes and takes our place.
And the seaweeds are starting to pull me under
And the clouds in my mind are starting to thunder,
I search desperately for shelter, solid ground,
I long to be found,
But the shift in tide has bound
Me
A daughter of the sea,
Alone, trapped in we.
And my heart lays heavy,
In a bottle of sherry
Too heavy to keep afloat
So send out your rescue mission
Your men and boats
But they will not find me,
I am entangled in chains,
And the remnants and remains
You cannot see.
So as I drown, in this bottle of whiskey
Consumed by the taste
From the last time you kissed me,
Fuelled by the solace at our loss of history
Do not try to save me,
You are the one who deserves to be free.

If morning had never graced its presence that day,
Would you still have upped and gone away?
Or would we have stayed, forever embraced, fingers interlaced,
In a morsel of romance.
And if the sun had never shone that dawn,
Would I still be alone, this early morn?
And would we still have had to mourn over our loss?
If the stars had never ceased,
And the darkness had kept its presence,
If the night had never drew in
And the moon stayed ever crescent
Would the tides of change still have to flow,
And form a drift between us two,
Would we have to mourn our history,
Would we still be through?

Though maybe if the morning had never come,
and if the sun had never shone,
and the stars had never ceased,
Your chance of happiness would be gone,
And I treasure that of yours,
More than I do of mine,
So let the sands of time sift between us two
Let the stars shine and the moon not confine, you.
Let dawn break, as we awake to a new day
Let the tide change
And let the remains
Embrace you in all the joy you deserve.

Trying to capture and articulate
To produce ink on a page
Where
chemical solutions form words
That burn inside our mouths

I carefully stitched your name
embroidered each memory,
each beautiful piece of art
into the delicate walls
of my beating heart.
I put aside the threat of pain,
the tearing apart,
the risk of scars that would remain,
in the hope that I would never
have to
unpick, unfasten,
you, again.

How I was wrong.
And the unstitching never gets easier
and the short sharp scratch
Each time, you work your way back
Hurts just as much as the last.

Fear not there haunted eyes,
a young girl, broken,
behind them lies.

Lesson one: give your heart to someone who gives theirs back. And hell she'll give you her heart on her sleeve, with a magic that allows you to conceive, real love, the kind that others dream of, the kind you look above and wish upon a star for, everything you wanted, she'll give you more.
Lesson two: find eyes that embody a maze that you could get lost in for days. And as you gaze at each other, you are no longer dazed by anxieties and caution signs because she reads through the lines and untangles and unwinds knots others have left behind.
Lesson three: lust is not love but when you find both, grab them tight. Because for the first time in your life you'll feel as though you got something right and as you see her in sight and she sets you alight with just one look, take note of the tattered heart she willingly took, the time she gave up to read into and not judge by the cover of your book.
Lesson four: always hold the door but never hold back. Hold the door for opportunity and unity in a way you could never construe existed, because within moments she'll have your eyes misted, your vision twisted, into the future, you see yourselves sharing, and those walls that she's tearing down will form new foundations for you to find your own ground.
Lesson five: tell her everyday how beautiful you think she is. Because with every day that passes, through each lens of her glasses she'll develop a tainted view and this time it's up to you to offer her your eyes, to help her see and realise, her beauty inside. Inside the body you adore, the woman you'd do anything for.
Lesson six: love is meant to last. So run her a bath, fill up her glass, do the dishes, commend her wishes, lay her fears to rest as she curls into your chest, calm the wars in her mind, undo and unwind with the love that you find in a fountain overflowing with her name, show her your game, not now but for forever, that whatever the weather, you will be there, show her you care and if you tried you couldn't care any more, tell her every day what you're grateful for.
Lesson seven: draw a line under the faults your find for she is only human too, let her know you love her through and through.
Lesson eight: show her. Kiss her, hold her, brush your fingers through her hair and stare into her eyes, as they sparkle and shine as the milk and honey on her lips and yours become entwined. For her make time, all the time in the world, because only once, will you find this girl, this lady, the one that you'll say, made you into the person you always wanted to be, who gave you eyes to see, only once will you find this lady, who will set you free, allow you to be all that you can be, and you shall do the same for her too, only once do you find the other half of you.

There's something so beautiful
about the way my name rolls of your tongue.
Something so spectacular,
about knowing where we belong.

Life is a maze,
Some of us get lost along the way.

With you there was no falling in love
There was flying
Realising
I'd found everything i'd ever wanted
And more
A love so pure
Above mountains and into
The clouds I soar.

Each time we kiss
I taste happiness
On my lips

Wind mills in our skulls
So fast we can't get a grasp on
Pretty pills
As we stare out
Of barred windowsills

I press my lips against your forehead as you sleep and dream and once again I evade sleep for I cannot face the thought of it taking me away from these moments, the moments I capture tightly with both hands and cram into the moving photographs of my heart.
Your hot skin tangled up in mine feels as cold as steel compared to the forest fires that dart through our veins, erupting in each other's hearts.
Amongst the debris, the ash, the embers, lies the very foundation of who we are apart and the inferno we are together.
You pull my body into your arms ablaze I free fall deeper and deeper into you, into me, for we, are as one.
The honesty and irrefutable truth of what we share and who we are together, brings sanctuary that could never be corrupted, comfort that distance could never waiver and a security that shall withstand any obstacle and endure strongly, the sifting sands of time.

And i could pick every petal off every flower in every country, and still would you love me not.

The sun dances across her skin
As though it knows what it has always
Shone far
I swear someone stole the brightest stars out of the sky
And planted them into the pupils of her eyes.
I see them twinkle, every time they catch mine.
She could destroy an entire city, and still look beautiful doing it.
She has taught my heart a rhythm it cannot live without.

Darling she's the most beautiful piece of literature
you'd ever have had the pleasure of discovering
reading, indulging in, bringing to life
it's your fault, regret, mistake
that you tossed her to the side
because something less than average
caught your eye

That goodbye
Where it feels
As though each word trips over the other
Slips between your lips
And stumbles heavily
Out of your mouth.

How could our love die
when it lives
in these pages?

My anxieties have a way of strangling me
And snatching life from under me
Better than any noose
Ever could