She knew she used to cut she knew that It WAS wrong she knew she had no friends she knew she was a nobody she knew that taking her life would be stupid and that was not how she wanted to be remembered she wanted everyone to know how she felt she felt sad and depressed cause everyone hated her and made her feel like nothing she knew how they felt they felt hatred for her she wanted to die everyday going to school cause I'd all they would do is drown her In a pool she hid her wrist under a sleeve and took a blade to the bathroom she was stupid for cutting g bit it can't hurt it felt good she could take the pain out on herself she knew that they hated her and they knew she hated her and she knew she is a failure and a ***** up and that is not new

Faking a smile is the hardest thing ever faking a laugh is a little bit harder faking the pain that is hidden in my eyes is impossible if someone just looked and I  mean actually looked they could tell that the pain in my eyes is the pain that I feel I know they would think I just want some attention but to be honest I don't why would I have been faking. So Noone found out so then when they found out they thought I wanted attention no I'm faking it all cause I'm the one to pick up that person and keep them on moving evn though they don't notice I try my best to be the nice person but I'm not faking it all for attention I'm faking it all because if someone actually knew my weakness then what would people think that I'm lost in despair and that I'm actually nothing or that I'm really faking because of everyone else because I'm supposed to be strong and brave I'm the oldest of my friends and my family (even though I'm only 13 ) I want someone to talk to who does not look at me like they are reading a book I want someone to talk to who really understands that I'm actually lost lonely and sad and very depressed

My past was real lonely and I felt like a nobody everybody ignores me and treats me like I'm nothing I used to do somthinfng I so deeply regret to myself it was a very deep threat if anyone found out they would laugh and won't care that's why I'm so scared that only two friends actually know my deep despair  I'm so scared of my past it makes me cry every night in sadness I'm scared I'll be the same and nobody will care my past was so lonely and sad and my future will be too cause as the voice in my head keeps on saying nobody cares about you and is all they would do is just laugh at your past and maybe your future ...