“Are you okay?”

Sweetheart, I write poetry
And some kindhearted people said I write it well
…
That can only mean one thing
My mind is an unescapable hell

“Yeah, just tired”

the sky is pretty tonight
and clouds stretch across the sky like a hand
reaching for the stars
i cannot see the moon
But I see you
and your light shines brighter than
any moon or star
You are My sun
i turn, like a sunflower
to follow each of your footsteps
always facing, always reaching
never growing closer
but the sky is pretty tonight
And i will rest my head on your arms
and wish on shooting stars for a day
the sun will return my affection
and dream of fields of wild sunflowers
in bright summer light

Im filled with emotions,
I can no longer speak.
It’s like I’m locked in my own prison,
Emotions struggling to be released.

Within me i am drowning,
But I don my happy face.
An internal war roaring,
Struggling to keep it locked in the safe.

I can not allow myself to loosen yet,
Rarely am I allowed to.
Through the day i make it through,
It’s my happy mask that talks to you.

I wish I can let the feelings out,
As they trickle in.
All day the inside prisoners shout,
Grasping and clawing at my skin.

From time to time, late at night,
Raw words from a song will pierce the wall.
The feelings are flicked on like a light,
surrendering myself to the abyss as I fall.

You say you’d cry,                
If my eyes went dark
Say your world will die
If death makes its mark—

On me, your child, I swear,
To watch you from above– wiping your tears
The cause for my fate— you would not bare
I apologize for endorsing your fears


Don’t worry, don’t cry
It’s not time to say goodbye
I promise to try
But please, don’t rely—

On an Oath, so hollow
So easy to break
But still I beg you, do not follow—
For joining me will not heal your ache

Looking for the words to say
How could I lose control
Of a perfect moment
It's too late to relive it
I followed you back to the beginning
I stayed until I couldn't outlive it
Strayed in a life
I know I can't live in
Looking for a new beginning

What would have happened if I knocked on their door,
With blood running down my thighs.
Letting them see what I was going through,
Would I have been on the bus the next day.
On the way to school,
Wondering if anyone cared .
Would I be here now,
I know they would have gotten me extreme help.
And maybe I would have gotten that help,
Maybe I wouldn’t be cutting still,
Wondering if anyone cares .