Absence breeds nostalgia
Longing to be with you once again
Yet I pull away, or just frozen in place
Learned helplessness without scientists
Merely affection, not love
Not lust as self justification rationalises
Do I really see myself putting her best interests at heart or
The moment I said "or" I put myself in a gotcha situation
It never really was about her
"You're not trying to make me feel guilty, are you?"
I say to the voice shoving guilt ridden anxiety down my gullet to my heart