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i'm searching.
searching for you in a crowd of people.
searching for your soul out of all of them.
searching for that light that drew me to you when we first met.
where did you go?
where is the soul that once captured mine?
where is that light?
i'm searching.
but i'm beginning to lose hope.
My heart and brain are at war and they are both slowly destroying me
Last night I fell asleep with an empty stomach and hallow eyes
Wishing to live in a different body
Only got 5 hours of sleep
It's strange how the season's effect me so much
Days spent inside this old house are always longer in the winter

I woke up with goosebumps and nicotine eyes
Deciding if waking up today was really worth it
Knowing it would be spent with lonely thoughts and a longing for you to call
But you never do

You are my nicotine, I inhale your words as if I need them to breathe
I should try to quit  
What we are doing to each other, its toxic
And what's so sad is when you finally reply
All I can remember is the high
I swear, loving you will give me cancer
I might add more later but for now I am pretty satisfied
You made C8H11NO2+C10H12N2O+C43H66N12O12S2 taste like C2H60.
My heart beats faster when I look into your eyes than when im on C17H21NO4
I dont know who I am without you.
Without your laugh
Or your hug
Or the way you look at me
Looked at me
Your name just popped up on my phone
And my heart stopped beating
Lungs stopped breathing
Head starting pounding
Whats wrong?
What isnt wrong?
I wanted to type out everything ive been feeling since you left
Like how I dont sleep anymore because youre in my dreams
And I cant bear to lose you again
How im sitting in class trying not to cry
How it isnt working
How I want you back
But wont say i miss you
How im biting my tongue
How im bleeding
How its all over
Over
Over
you broke me..
your teeth on my neck made me only want more.
now, the worse sound youve made is a step out the door.
what else could you rip from me?
my knees are already on the floor.
i just miss the feeling of your teeth
and the love that had faith in its lasting.
this is just another nightmare passing, i can make it through.
though its so hard when my dreams were you too.
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