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I don't want people to think I'm being selfish
I feel like I don't have much left
Almost all of my willpower is gone
I just want to be free I just want to be happy
I just want to stop feeling like I'm dragging a huge thousand pound weight behind me
Even breathing feels weighted
Everything feels heavy and I feel sick
I'm scared I'll always be like this
How could I live if I was?
And do I want to find out?
What is the point?
My hope, my drive, my passion has fizzled out
And all that's left is me
What if it never works out?
What if I'm never free in this world?
The only holding me back for now
Is the thought that people will call me selfish
For taking my own life
And the last thing is want to be remembered by is that word.
This is truly awful
How could you?
How could I know?
That you were lying
Did you not care how hard I was trying?

I warmed your head
I warmed you're bed
I mended your soul
How could I know?

I shouldn't have listened to your word
instead of your actions
Its so absurd
That I didn't see your different factions

How could I know?
How did you know?
That I was lying
Despite how hard I was trying

I played with your head
I ***** you're bed
I stole your soul
How did you let go?

I should have listened to your action
instead of your words
You warmed me with every reaction
how could I be so absurd?
******* I am ****** up
I'm sick and I'm dying
I'm lost and I'm sighing
I wish I could start crying

Every word you say is true
no one knows me better then you
I wish we could start a new
and you didn't think I was ****** up too
Can you even see me?
Do you know I'm here
I peek my eyes through the shadows
Can you feel them as I peer

I have bin hiding so long
I no longer know why I fear
but still I feel some thing wrong
when some one steps near

I am growing slowly stronger
I can't take it any longer
I step out of turn
And again I feel a burn

I don't want you to see me
I don't want you to know I'm here
I slip back into the shadows
And stay close to all my fear
Your depression is so becoming
I feel my heart humming
Death looks good on you too
But just a tint will do

Your misery is a gown
It drives me crazy when your around
You must think I am a fool
For being so in love with you

Anxiety is a lace
I can see it on your face
It pierces your heart
But my heart is where it starts

You are so beautiful and meek
One every man must seek
I want to prance you around
For more flaws to build you're gown
They tell me it’s the lesser of two evils
But I’m not sure that’s a fact
Sometimes I think it’s best to leave you to your demons
They’ve got you this far in tact

Either way I can’t stop the progression
This deadly routine’s for your own protection
There are no winners here, there’s far too much at stake
Do I stand by and let them feed you to the rattlesnake?
When I know it’s eating you up inside
Like a private supply of cyanide

Going, going, gone
I see you today but who knows where you’ll be tomorrow
Going, going, gone
Slipping through my fingers to a place that I can’t follow
Going, going, gone
Your own private cyanide’s a bitter pill to swallow
Going, going, gone

I know there’ll be times that you will disagree
But just between you and me
When they tell us over again that two’s company
I feel like we are three

But they don’t matter, all my objections
This deadly routine‘s become your obsession
There are no winners here, there’s far too much at stake
Do I stand by and let them feed you to the rattlesnake?
And I know it's killing you from inside
Like a private supply of cyanide

Going, going, gone
I see you today but who knows where you’ll be tomorrow
Going, going, gone
Slipping through my fingers to a place that I can’t follow
Going, going, gone
Your own private cyanide’s a bitter pill to swallow
Going, going, gone

Every day I see you drift further away
And there’s only so much I can pray
I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place
Soon you’ll disappear without a trace

Going, going, gone

Copyright © 2016-2017 KF
Another one written with multiple interpretations is mind, but mostly about someone suffering from ill mental health whose medication changes them so much they are not the same person any more. Is the cost too great; to sacrifice your self for a few moments of 'normality' when we don't even know what that is?
I always think

big

A trait that not all my friends

dig

Yet some find me as sweet as a

fig

When I drink I just take a

swig

Believe me, I am not wearing a

wig

My heart can be snapped like a

twig

But most days I am dancing a

jig

Overall life is a pretty good

**gig
just for fun, enjoy :)  - ML
394

’Twas Love—not me—
Oh punish—pray—
The Real one died for Thee—
Just Him—not me—

Such Guilt—to love Thee—most!
Doom it beyond the Rest—
Forgive it—last—
’Twas base as Jesus—most!

Let Justice not mistake—
We Two—looked so alike—
Which was the Guilty Sake—
’Twas Love’s—Now Strike!
i never told you this, but:
i didn’t want to say “yes” when you asked me on our first date.
i was thinking of someone in buffalo
who was (at the same time) making playlists with my name in the title
and sending me poems in the mail.
you were just on my periphery,
something of a backup –
until you weren’t,
until you were
everything.

all summer, we were just kids kissing on the beach
just sweaty palms, just chasing trains --
until suddenly it became
running down the hallway of the hospital
and sneaking into the radiology ward,
losing my mind in the waiting room
and holding your hand, twisted up in tubes.
i’ll never forget the way you looked at me that week
and i’ll always remember
making out in the x-ray room,
the nurses on the other side of the door
and wondering if the man behind the divider could hear you
when you told me you loved me for the first time

the truth is:
it’s not fair that you stopped wanting me
and started wanting her,
just because she was convenient
and i was far away

maybe one day i’ll stop being angry,
maybe it’ll stop feeling like someone pulled all my bones from the sockets,
maybe one day i’ll stop missing you so much
and maybe, someday, my body will stop feeling
like a burial ground

but in this moment,
like a stupid animal,
my heart is still waiting
for you to come home.

i don’t know how to tell it you aren’t coming.
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