You meant it as a mere joke
Something I should laugh at
But those words stuck
And I felt a putrid, vile taste in my mouth
As you said it
I thought it was a night of love
I was wrong
I was so wrong
For you chuckled
And laughed at it
And you sniggered
And said ever so hauntingly...
"It was the night you lost your innocence."

And you continued to laugh
As my heart sank
And my pure heart was
Drenched
In black oil
Staining my heart

Never to be pure again.

A single pebble
crushes;

do not minimise
destruction.

Pellets hold
the small, squeezed grain of bone –
a startling nakedness erodes
it, scars the air
it lies in;

frail and suffering
hung flowers
that hankered after warmth
ooze still their stilled perfections;

and
the innocent beetle
suffers mortally.

Grandiose, magniloquent,
the pebble forfeits nothing.

We are naked, Anne, and caught.

Inside ourselves a pitiless resilience
remains, bounds up, is shot.

The orchid in the spring
still sees it here:
as cruel as me,
as loving and perennial as you.

1

Only seventeen,
swings both ways.
Blond, curly short
cropped hair.
Sings body electric,
hums Madonna.
Taps cigarette
against shoe.

2

She won awards,
courted by peers.
Glorious new life.
Sang songs ringing
in new year’s,
inviting boys to
taste new experience,
tunes of the city.

3

He came to ask
about world of
boys and men.
Bold new hormones,
dancing body electric.
Curiosity humming
tunes with antiphons.

4

She came to close
debate, to whine and
moan, pathetic little
tears, wrenching hands.
Her world no longer
awesome, her body
full of spleen,
her mind tired.
Her hum now a dirge.

5

Seventeen years.
He grows yet, sparks
and electricity shine.
New songs, gifts, worlds,
peoples. Life filled
with awe. Body
celebrated. New film
is now. Camera pan to
scene 3.

© Lewis Bosworth, 2013

With the day after Christmas
We return to the normality
Of me not looking at you
And you not talking to me

With hands deep in our pockets
Holding tight the spare change
Where we don't lose what little we've got
Or give too much away

Where all that is seen
Is the blind destiny
As I climb over you
On the rung of what's in it for me

With the day after Christmas
We're back to where we were
Not trying to be
Such good boys and girls

Where a grudge I unwrap
And think bad about you
Wait a minute that
Was the day before too

Where we take peace on Earth
And good will towards men
And pack it away
For another year

Where the Government
Sends us back to the war
With no earthly idea
Of what we're fighting for

Where we don't listen
To the cries of the children
As all of this happens
The day after Christmas

Way back when I was younger
I was mistaken as a dude
They asked all sorts of questions
That slowly grew more rude

"Why don't you wear makeup?
Or dress in something nice?"
"If you ever want to get a guy
Why won't you just take our advice?"

When I began in high school
I had just begun to change
I had bought myself some cheap makeup
And clothes that just felt strange

Still, it wasn't enough though
The insults continued to come
"Ugly. Lazy. Undesirable"
It all began to make me glum

By the beginning of junior year
I had fully given in
Dresses replaced all of my jeans
And makeup covered all my skin

It was then, the insults changed
And people began to glare
Said I "cared too much about my looks"
And my "head must be full of air"

I still always got straight A's
The way I talked was still the same
But though I knew that they were wrong
Their comments made me feel lame

When senior year had rolled around
I was lonely as could be
People "liked" what I'd become
But I felt no one liked me for me

I'd never been on a single date
Because all the guys were crude
So it was only a small amount of time
Before I was labeled as a "*****"

When I finally started college
I expected something more
But people took one look at me
And labeled me a *****

I had not been sleeping around
I still hadn't even been on a date
Everyone just made assumptions
And looked at me with hate

The part that was most ironic
Was that after all these years
Of changing to be whatever they said
I was still hated by all my peers

I didn't want to dress like this
I didn't want to just conform
But there is only so much a person can take
Before they need to fit the "norm"

Society is what destroyed me
They are the reason I am this way
I changed to be what people wanted
Now I understand: I'll never see that day

I don't know who I am now
Though everyone else thinks that they do
Now please just take one piece of advice
It's so important to just stay you

You are perfect just as you are
So continue to stay strong
Remember no matter what they tell you
What society says is **wrong

On bended knees
The sun is shining
It's a beautiful day to be alive and free

On bended knees
The wind is blowing
I can feel its coldness touch my skin

On bended knees
The birds are singing
They sing a song of love and peace

On bended knees
I wonder
What if this is just a dream?

My heart is pounding
My hands are shaking
I say a silent prayer
On bended knees

The Earth is still moving
It's a normal day for you, but not for me
Because today is the day that I die
On bended knees

I am tired.
So tired
I start to ask myself
what is a word
that means tired.
Till, I stop myself
laughing at my own
tired absurdity.

Your consciousness is restricted by your self-imposed ignorance. You are so much more then your consumerism impulses, your romantic fantasies/heartaches, your political ideologies, and your religious dogmas. You are a universe of potential, something that can be developed in the stillness of introverted introspection, something that is unique and beautiful, something that longs to be shared with the world. You are your own mechanism for self-directed emotional, intellectual, nutritional, and  neurochemical evolution. You just have to look beyond the predefined prepackaged reality and realize just because it is done this way does not mean it has to be done that.