i glance
at this
clock because
this block
will never
stop
oh how
i hate
this frickn
clock that
only ever
shifts when
i dont
stare and lift
my hands
to my
head where
these thoughts don’t
fit
oh my god
where is my
sanity
all i have left
is profanity
i need to
purge myself
of vanity
and
focus
focus
focus
on this clock
that prevents
me of thought
oh what i
would give
to not
live in this
twisted plot
where tears
fall
and fears
stall
and ears
hear all
they should
not
but i cry
nonetheless
maybe if i
die i can
finally shed
the stress
against the wall
here we
go
i sit and let
the demons
call
call
call
my name
to play
their game
but i cannot
blame these
voices give
me the
shame
for what i
create in
this ******* up
head
only adds
to the dread
that follows me around
invisible and
without sound
but still
it drives me
into the ground
what would
happen
if i drowned
in this misery
oh why do i
try to find
victory when
all i ever
win is
self-inflicted injury
another
cut
cut
cut
makes me
feel somewhat
at peace
nevermind the
blood but
the marks might
draw attention
gotta cover
up not to mention
lie
lie
lie
im alright
didnt sleep
last night
im just
tired
tired
tired of
this fight
that just might
end me
what will
come free my mind im
floating at sea
calm breeze
my
thoughts tease
me
hope flees
and again i am
left to sit
and grit
my teeth
as class continues
i want to
hit
hit
hit
my head
against
the wall
the bell
sends me
into shock
i glance
at the
clock
as my body
begins to
walk
walk
walk
out of this
hellhole
I have worked
hard for
this
freedom though
i know
it will go
as i return
for school
tomorrow.

Maybe,
        
           I could be an athlete
           I'd win the marathon with
           Running away
                     - from all of my problems.

when you find the place
that the moon
is outshone
by the brightness
of the stars
each one
a separate lost soul
waiting to find
it's place
take solace in knowing
you are not alone
nor are you lost
for you are with me
and I will always find you

I looked for a synonym
To scar
And I saw:
A Defect
A disfigurement
A flaw

Because apparently
Our Scars
Are not
Perfection
Or strength

But I argue
That scars
Tell our story

They show our strength
Our beauty
Appear as victories
In battles
That only you
Know you’re fighting

perfect
In every way
Wounds turned white
And plastered
To our skin

A constant reminder
Of where we once were
And where we will
Never be again

I was told I wasn’t okay
So I started taking medication
2 pills
And my emotions took a back seat

When I came back
You told me
2 panic attacks a week
Was too many

So I took 4 pills
And my emotions
Found the exit
And jumped off the plane

Never to be seen again

I've turned my guns to fists
But now i'm fighting
Along with all these other
Mutant kids
Fused at the wrist
Even though you told them
To shoot at this
Our demons are what we're fighting
And we can’t win

Do not control me
For I have my own free will

Do not try to explain
That a boy is a boy
And a girl is a girl
Solely because of what's in their pants

Don't tell me
that I am straight
Because I wore a dress
When I was three

I will no longer
listen to your words
Or let you mold me
To fit your broken standards

You can not control me
For I have my
Own.
Free.
Will.