time is a tunnel

how do people speak so much about nothings

too little

TOO MUCH

(I should just do my best and risk losing the security of their cares)

someone once said,
security is a prison which you give up your life for.

I have listened to the strumming of your song
and the way your fingers move is something I'm afraid I will never understand

the veins in your hands are flooding like rivers
like when swords are grasped and ****** into battle

you fight the air with your songs
and the water with your melody

and orpheus might turn, again, at you who plays for the pleasure of the gods -
yet it is not for them you play,
but for yourself.

and that is purity.

that song is so beautiful
and the strings make me cry
but I forget that an instrument needs to be taken care of too
in order to sound so wonderful.

it is soothing to see them,
taking care of one another.

I have lost so much in so little a time,
I forget this and this and this moment is mine.

I have watched you love
seen you hate
and I know the horrors
of forgetting to appreciate.

and I sing of my dreams
as if they are to be
though I am afraid
that forever caged, I'll be.

the most dangerous feeling
is invincibility

where can blame be laid
if not next to a body
after no one claimed it for themselves?

beast

it feeds upon dreams
and joys
and we blame it for our carelessness

and we forget about it being there
and it loves
and we love
it hates
and we hate

and it hungers
starves

though still it is a beast

I have  been grieving for you
every goodbye,

my entire life.

To know you, I would risk our love carved into pillars, declared to history.

It is enough for me, to love you in silence,
without your consent.

Oh how would I cope if this was reciprocal,
but to die with you in my arms
and hold onto you forever?

stand still.

I am like this,
like that

it is hard to be what I fear -
change

I am fickle and fain when things remain

i love this quote:

the water sustains me without even trying
the water can't drown me, I'm done
with my dying

have you always been there -
yes, you have, I know

and now you are leaving
for better things to come for you -

I should have said good luck,
goodbye -
I was too ashamed

because

I never said hello to you
in the first place

you don't own the things you know

not immune, but blind and used to
what your habits do to you.

two bodies
parallel
one is lost
the other dwells

one sees the other
and watches, invisibly
but there's no sense
in plea
because neither of them
can break free

from the roots
of this old tree.

One has loved, though,
endlessly,
has watched the other,
helplessly.

the word for when
you're so afraid
that when days end
they're gone forever -

always before bed
i feel this dread
as if tomorrow
will not have this again.

i hate that feeling
it is like standing at the edge of a cliff, wavering
between how beautiful and how long the drop

you are so pathetic;

you cannot see your entrapment unless it is your predator's very teeth bared onto your skin

that is what she said to me as I kissed the flower's of my prisoned paradise.

there are times when my voice gives into the devouring worm
that is the silence,
that is the pull between your thoughts,
the tug of hate and love.

who do you let win,
because it is up to you.
but when you must choose who does lose,
there is no trophy for selfish choices,
there is no winner in this wordless crime.

i have loved and ached
and sought after those things you two once shared -
compared to now, we are impaired
of this balance between
too little and too much -

a lack of patience and of touch

he stole her away,
that's what the stories say -
because women with voice
hardly ever got a choice
and even now
they doubt.

sing, goddess,
of your immortal divinity,
and tell me how
it feels to watch the world burn
while you can never become of its ashes.

you stab incessantly at each other's tires -
deflating heart, body, mind, and soul.