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to lie on the warm sand at twilight
ripples of fleeting light
across a calm sea.
A trip I take,
A dream, I break.
A normal day?
Yeah, no way...

A building anger,
A squeezing bind.
I am in danger,
Inside my mind.

I reach out for help,
My hand outstretched,
I heard you yelp,
My stomach wretched.

I flee in fear.
My world gone dark.
Now, it is oh so clear,
I had let out a vile bark.

My words you mistook,
My tone you didn't know.
My energy is all it took,
So now I should go...
I had a health scare and went to the hospital, I was dismissed and sent home... I came home and my BP bottomed out. I was angry that I still have to pay the hospital after they dismissed my symptoms... So I used the same norepinephrine (I'm assuming, I haven't gone to a Dr because of it) that my body naturally produces a lot of, and which also helped bring me back (with me also calling in my "chit" with the man upstairs) and I wasn't kind to them... I exploded... in my "depression", as I believe you call it, I self reflected... and that's when I started thinking I might have a norepinephrine "dumping" problem... because i was FIGHTING with my words... but I was terrified of them, and in my head, I was FLEEING from them as far away as I could get... but I was FROZEN, as my EMS training taught me, and I still went to work...
 Jul 20 Jay Jelly
Hailey
Dear mom,
I’m a mother myself now.
A mother to a little boy and girl,
and both of them are just like me,
and everyday they remind me
that I was never the problem.
As your daughter I forgive you, but
as a parent I will never understand.

-I am breaking the cycle
Revenge is always
disproportionate
to the grief it afflicted :
this is human nature-
it can't forgive or forget
 Jul 20 Jay Jelly
T
Only you
 Jul 20 Jay Jelly
T
I find myself
only wanting to think about you.
When I walked the streets tonight,
I wonder if youre under the same moon.

I go to my favorite place
and dream of your face.
We both run wild in my head,
twisted in the sheets of my bed.

Where we lay in silence,
Wrapped in each others skin.
I think about you never having to leave,
I sit around to dream of pretend.

Where we get lost in each others eyes,
A place where the sun doesn’t rise.
A place for only me and you,
A place I go when you’re gone too soon.
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