I don’t feel comfortable being a victim
I suppose I am
A victim
Probably more than most
I don’t like to stay a victim
Though being one seems unavoidable
****** up ****
Has routinely happened to me
Since I was a baby
Amazing **** too
I probably deserved it
Most of it
I was a knucklehead
And I’m still an *******
Sometimes
Which simply means I’m an *******
There is no such thing as being a little
*******
When it comes to assholery
It’s either all out or all in
Or maybe just wipe clean
And itch less
Being a victim
Feels itchy to me

He got me dreaming
Feening
For a taste
His little bit of nothing
He breaks off to me
Feels like a **** buffet
I’m caught up in his wave
On it all the way
To the break

I suppose it’s a ****** for me
That you’re still
The most beautiful human being
I’ve ever seen
And maybe it’s a blessing
The ugly parts
Frailty really
And yet you’re still so beautiful to me
As imperfect as you be

It’s not like me to connect with some man
Over the internet
I wish I could
Fall into it from afar
Get the tingles and jingles
Long term
No matter where they are
But I’m not a long term tingler
Without real time
Association
I fall into heavy like
So often
But heavy like soon fades
Into “I sort of remember that guy”
Maybe the problem is me
And my unwillingness to really try
But my flakiness has been put to good use
I’m the poet with
Infinite muse

How long do you fight for
What seems impossible?
Do you hope the desire
Dries up
And goes away?
Do you find something else
To lead you astray?
Does a dream unrealized
Call your psyche home?
Does it settle in your bones?
Ever there to taunt and tease
Staying so far out of reach
Does it approach
And then it leaves?
That probably is the way of dreams

He was a hard-headed man
He was brutally handsome, and she was terminally pretty
She held him up, and he held her for ransom
In the heart of the cold, cold city
He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude
They said he was ruthless, they said he was crude
They had one thing in common
They were good in bed, she'd say
"Faster, faster, the lights are turnin' red"
surely make you lose your mind
(Life in the fast lane) yeah
Are you with me so far?
Eager for action and hot for the game
The coming attraction, the drop of a name
They knew all the right people, they took all the right pills
They threw outrageous parties, they paid heavenly bills
There were lines on the mirror, lines on her face
She pretended not to notice, she was caught up in the race
Out every evening, until it was light
He was too tired to make it, she was too tired to fight about it
surely make you lose your mind
(Life in the fast lane) yeah
(Life in the fast lane) everything, all the time
(Life in the fast lane) a-ha
Blowin' and burnin', blinded by thirst
They didn't see the stop sign, took a turn for the worse
She said, "Listen baby, you can hear the engine ring"
"We've been up and down this highway, haven't seen a ****** thing"
He said, "Call the doctor, I think I'm gonna crash"
"The doctor say he's comin', but you gotta pay him cash"
They went rushin' down that freeway, messed around and got lost
They didn't care, they were just dyin' to get off, and it was life in the fast lane
surely makes you lose your mind

It was nutty of me to fall for you
Like us out of whack girls will tend to do
At first I thought you broke me
But now I think I broke you
The fallout from when
A nutty girl falls for you

Her bio said she was from
Uranus
And that’s all we need to know
To make the easy decision to scroll

I came here looking for you
You’re not here
Amused myself with something newer
On my way to something new
My attention span is nonexistent
But I stay around the edges
You’ll be back here soon

The first victim of racism
We all know by name
Some worship him
And what he became
Jesus hung from that cross
In the middle of town
Simply because
He was the only white guy around

She is growing tomato plants in the back yard
I have named one Greta and one Nelson
She remembers
And calls them by name
Greta and Nelson
Tomato plants
Loved by somebody

It wasn’t aimed at me
I had nothing to do with it, really
But also, I did
Because I saw myself
In your casual insult
Aimed at someone else.
I’m sure I’ve done this before
To someone who needed more
Understanding
Turn about is fair play
And I forgive  
And it is forgotten
Who is this about, anyway?

I don’t need you to thrive
Or maybe I do
Nobody else
But you
Boo
Maybe some day
You will know it, too

I don't mind you comin' here
And wastin' all my time
'Cause when you're standin' oh so near
I kinda lose my mind
It's not the perfume that you wear
It's not the ribbons in your hair
And I don't mind you comin' here
And wastin' all my time
I don't mind you hangin' out
And talkin' in your sleep
It doesn't matter where you've been
As long as it was deep
You always knew to wear it well and
You look so fancy I can tell
And I don't mind you hangin' out
And talkin' in your sleep
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to feed
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to bleed
I don't mind you comin' here
And wastin' all my time, time
'Cause when you're standin' oh so near
I kinda lose my mind
It's not the perfume that you wear
It's not the ribbons in your hair
And I don't mind you comin' here
And wastin' all my time
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to feed
I guess you're just what I needed
I needed someone to bleed

Little girls love nail polish
I’ve known many very rambunctious
Cannot sit still
Overly sugared, sweaty tomboys
Who suddenly sit bone still
For minutes on end
For some pink fingernails

He is deep waters
Hidden under
A choppy surface
Many step straight from the shore
Assuming the floor
Inches away
And drop in over their heads
Unexpectedly
And one will wonder
How being under
Water
Can feel so fiery

Finally back in my own stable home
Where everything has it’s place
And remains where I left it
I know where the light switches are
Even in the dark
And I can flush the toilet
Anytime
Without waking anyone up
My neighbors are still having their loud
Nightly ***
I’m glad they’re still going at it
When everything changes
It’s the things that stay the sameses
That help me keep my saneness

Empty
Just another word for
Clean slate
Full of possibilities
Regardless
Of how it got
Wiped
Clear and clean
Might be the cleanest slate
I ever seen

He didn't break you
You were already broken
He just played with you
Indelicately
It will be him
To whom the blame switches
For all your failures and faults
In order to avoid blaming yourself
Your mind does somersaults

Old Father Time checked, so there'd be no doubt
Called on the north wind to come on out
Then cupped his hands so proudly to shout
La-di-da, di-da-di-dum, 'tis Autumn
The trees say they're tired, they've born too much fruit
Charmed all the wayside, there's no dispute
Now shedding leaves, they don't give a hoot
La-di-da, di-da-di-dum, 'tis Autumn
Then the birds got together
To chirp about the weather, mmm
After makin' their decision
In birdie-like precision
Turned about and made a bee-line to the south
My holding you close really is no crime
Ask the birds, the trees, and Old Father Time
It's just to help the mercury climb
La-di-da, di-da-di-dum, 'tis Autumn
It's just to help the mercury climb
La-di-da, di-la-di-dum, 'tis Autumn

Dancing expressively
Breaks from rules
Occasionally
Blending what could be
With reality
Penning odes of praise
For what should be
As written by me
Myself right there
For all to see
Maybe someday soon
These poems
Will make me think
Of someone other than you
Or it could be
These poems remind you
Of someone other than me

I have nothing left to show you
My soul came through
I know you knew
You watched it grew
You saw it skew
Slip in the mud
Go for a loop
Some days I gave you a beaut  
There was a lot of ugly, too
I know you knew
I did all I could do
I know you knew

Neglect precedes
Abuse
Busted wagons mostly go downhill
Horseless
And often driverless
Too
But sometimes
Depending what passenger do
Busted wagons have been
Known to come through

We take each other almost there
You’ll read this and go
Meh
Almost a waste of time
If there is such a thing
Depending upon
Investment
And whether getting to
Almost there
Is a pleasant distraction
Or a sidetrack
Maybe the two are the same thing
Or maybe almost there
Is as close as anybody gets

I'm wishing you could be with me
I suppose that makes me a ****
How can you say you care about someone
And hope their marraige doesn't work?

He keeps calling you a cheat
Every time you’re not in sight
He claims you’re banging some other guy
He knows he is not right
Guilt unconfessed, held inside
Turns into accusations
On the flip side

I’m probably s’posed to write you something for Valentine’s
You are mines
Quirky as it be
It means something to me
As such I hope for you
A day spent with love so true
Whoever she be
Though not me
I hope today you see
True love
So completely

The undeniable can be ignored
One would assume it couldn’t
I’ve seen impossibilities before
When what one is compelled to do
Might be something they shouldn’t
There’s no way to know ahead of time
Whether it end in roses or in the bramble
But most things really worth doing
Are gonna be a gamble

Far apart
We may always be
But you probably won’t
Be forgetting me
And that may be our destiny
To only exist
In memory
Something felt
And never seen

Don't do that
But
You better do this
Or we will discuss you
With disdain
And loudly proclaim
How your decision affects
Us all
Put it upon your shoulders
The weight of someone else's fall
Proven or not

Irrelevent

What we want is to be right
And we will make ourselves wrong
To insist upon
How right we surely are
This is the majority
Babe
And the vast majority
By far
And the majority is
Always right
At the time
And when it's proven to be wrong
It tells itself lies
And hates to apologize

It is agony to me
To be invisible to you
While you, I clearly see
I know how good it could be
While you seem to wander endlessly
I know what you’re looking for
I feel it down into every pore
I’m powerless to change the score
I have no tools to help me cope
All I can do is wish and hope
To somehow catch your faraway eye
I surely give a hearty try
But you’re a really busy guy
And I’m a nickel a dozen
Doting girl
So many surround you
I suppose it’s enough to admire you from afar
It seems to be all I can do

The problem with me
Is
I’m such a fan of my poetry
Each written honestly
Feelings bared
For all to see
Which naturally
Bums me out
When nobody notices me
Got my **** right out so publicly
Jiggling, wiggling, ******* are free
All this soulful ******
And not a soul who wants to see

Sunny days
Much loved
Rain
No less important
Under appreciated
We hide from rain
And it still comes to bless us
Despite our rejection
I love you too
Rain

I’m gonna have to pause and reflect
He obviously sees me with my neck
Chopping block ready
He’s holding the axe
And instead of giving it a good whack
He’s waiting for something
I don’t know what
Apparently for me to make my own cut
He’s got no plans to feed this chicken
And he ain’t gonna eat me, either
I’m just a self-teaser
Thinking the thoughts
Saying the words
Being ignored, instead of heard
It ain’t his fault
It’s all my own
I went to town
Like a clown
Wondering why he’s not coming around
Silly fool me
I showed up naked
For the costume party
And thought I could see
A really great guy maybe looking at me
Wondering if he could like what he sees
And deciding it’s not worth….

Any effort at all
He’s gonna let me run into that wall

Black velveteen
Simple and clean
Oh what a bad machine
Black velveteen
Supple and plain
The 21st century dream
Ready to please
Free from disease
She's waiting on her knees
It's not a sin
Titanium skin
Just take her for a spin
Black velveteen
Simple and clean
Oh what a bad machine
Black velveteen
Supple and plain
The 21st century dream
Nice piece of kit
Electronic ****
Just sit down for a fit
Ready to trip
A guarantee hit
She's all you ever wished
Black velveteen don't give a **** she'll do dishes
Black velveteen knows all the night spots in France
Black velveteen's cat smells like strawberry kittens
Black velveteen always is ready to dance
She's ready to
Black velveteen
Simple and clean
Oh what a bad machine
Black velveteen
Supple and plain
The 21st century dream

I might be too happy
For poetry
Bemoaning the past
Just isn't for me
I don't happen to have a tortured soul
With demons hiding about
I laugh and cackle
Like a witch with no cares
And scare all those demons out

I wish to be the water that meanders down his chest and into his *****
I wish to be the oil in his bones
Deep in the grooves
Part of the system’s sustain
I wish to be the fire
That makes him laugh in the rain
Massage out his aches and pain
I think he thinks I overestimate him
But I think just as much of myself
And I know I’m not overestimating myself
He is lucky
Because of me
Whether or not it be
Something he ever sees

I’m seeking the staying power.
I’ve got blips of success
Short-lived
But celebrated
Nonetheless
Maybe it’s thousands
Maybe it’s one
I hope something stays
After I’m done

All is fine
Let’s pretend
Not much of a stretch
But still
Stretched
Someday maybe
Almost fine ends
But at the same time
Almost fine
Is better than
Not good

He cannot forgive himself for being imperfect
Doesn’t give himself any credit for being **** near close

There is obviously
A deep-rooted incompatibility
Between you and me
I trust your judgment
You know you
Better than I do

He alters my vibe
No tries or even a drain on his own
I think
That is unknown
My effect on him
Could be a drag
But for that to be
He’d have to be
Different completely
From what I see

I beleive you
Occasionally
That your world is so dreary
I can tell
Your day was bad
But really
What's the difference
Every day is a disaster for you
All at your insistence
You woke up ready to have a crisis
You want to be talked about
You think if your life ain't a mess
You've got no social clout
Nobody's interested in the happy
When you've got no cleavage
But you've traded attention
Of suggestive poses
With suicidal posing
Does the attention
From crying about how you want to die
Make you feel alive?

A male chipmunk is referred to as a
BUCK
I find this iron-uck
Men must have chosen the word “male”
Without really thinking it through
If men of today were naming their gender
They’d be stallions or eagles or sharks
And chipmunks would be out of luck
They’d be referred to as
Penny instead of buck

I get that you ain’t “him”
If you were
You woulda already been
Still I’m drawn
Still I’m in

It’s not about you
Until you see yourself in it
Then it’s ALL about you
And also
Somebody else
Poetry never runs out of
All of itself
To give
In solitary
And so receives
The one it must be meant to be
Sometimes that someone is me

Mister
I'm not sure how you don't
Appreciate
The wonderful wacky
Being that is me
I suppose I could try harder
But it's not my fault that
You can't see

Whispers of a dream
Turn into silent screams
Still, somehow heard
Maybe

Right about now
The funk soul sista
Chasing after her mista
Whatever he did he sure musta
Got that sista all aflusta
Mista musta hit sista  
With a brick wall busta

The stones of you
Settled in the bones of me
Someday I’ll **** them out
And I will be free