You write the poetry of my life
Like you've already lived it
Maybe we're on the same wavelength
Or maybe it's just kismet

I put it all out there for you
Beg for your attention
In front
Openly
While you do nothing to encourage me
Some people may see that and believe
I’m one sad, sorry, sick puppy
But honestly
Putting my feelings out
Feels healthy to me
I suppose it’s irrelevant
Whether you see

Potentially
(Actually, most likely)
It will turn out to be
One day
I’m writing another man poetry
And you’ll smile to yourself
And think fondly
“I remember when she
Wrote for me”
And those poems will always be
The only existence
Of the potentiality
And possibility
Between what could be we
And you will be happy for me

I am the harmless nutcase
Sweating over you
Almost obsessively
To a high degree
Which really means
A LOT     AND MORE
But you’re the one I’m doing it for
It’s a mind game on me
And maybe on you
Potentially
And knowing this
It’s something I still do
It is exploitation
Really
To use you permisionlessly
I’ve said this before
And continue
Knowingly
Exploiting you
To the benefit of me
Uncredited inspiration
I plagiarize your spirit
Using it
Pretending I know it
Taking liberties
Telling myself some ******* story
You would feel flattered by me
Justification factory
But I’m not hurting anybody
And if anyone asked
I’d credit thee
The perfect muse for a nutcase like me

Angry stranger
Who hates me
Because I don't agree
Coming from nowhere
Suddenly.
Into my area
To attack me
Because I don't agree
But maybe it could be
If you bothered to look you'd  see
The problem for you is you
And not me
But you probably wouldn't see
Nobody wants to be
The problem
But you're so angry
You can't help but be

Now I lay me down to bed
Mum doesn’t want me filled with dread
I go to sleep with no sorrow
Knowing I will  wake tomorrow
Thank you, Lord, for every breath
From now until my faraway death
I’ll do my best to live life well
They will never see my soul in Hell

All the things you never said
Sit inside my head
Unspoken almost token
Of what should have been
Yet never was
Could it be the voices
In my head
Are broken?
Or is it the voice you speak with
That is choking?
Maybe both of us are the cause
Ain’t either one of us lacking flaws
But everyone with common sense and eyes to see
Can ascertain quite easily
The problem surely rests in me
With eyes that think they can hear,
And ears that think they can see

What could’ve been
Would never apply to us
You’d have to be a different person

When the Boy got you thinking
Wishful daydreams
Floating, sinking
What if
No way
Maybe

We'll see

Lay a whisper on me, please
Set it out on the breeze
Nobody has to hear it
Not even me
Send me some love
Anonymously
If that’s the way
It has to be

There’s a man on my street
Who’s obsessed with his yard
Meanwhile he’s ignoring
His wife falling apart
Maybe it’s just a cause and effect
One of them must have started the neglect
She doesn’t even put her shoes on
Anymore
When she goes to the store
He’s out with his hedge clippers
And his women is wandering
Around in slippers
And a frown

But they got the neatest lawn in town

It makes no sense to me
That you don’t want to know me
But maybe you do
Maybe you just don’t want me
To know you

There’s a saying about being on the wrong train
Get off at the first station
It says
But sometimes it’s best to
Just to see where the train goes
One never knows

You witnessed it all
Til it turned to smoke
All the effort
Nothing gained
Lost is time, and maybe confidence
Only ashes remain
Along with this sooty stain
I have no right to complain
But here I do, anyway
All the liberties I take
You gave me none
For goodness sake

Well we're movin' on up
To the east side
To a deluxe apartment in the sky
Movin' on up
To the east side
We finally got a piece of the pie
Fish don't fry in the kitchen
Beans don't burn on the grill
Took a whole lotta tryin'
Just to get up that hill
Now we're up in the big leagues
Gettin' our turn at bat
As long as we live, it's you and me baby
There ain't nothin' wrong with that
Well we're movin' on up
To the east side
To a deluxe apartment in the sky
Movin' on up
To the east side
We finally got a piece of the pie

I want to be a worm
Climbing inside
Attaching to your mind
Well, not true
I want to be the controller of the worms
Hundreds reporting back to me
Implanting what I want the subject to see
But then again, that’s too much
Responsibility
I’ll stay with being just me
I don’t want to control anybody
I want your mind to be free
Then, it means something when you choose me

Weaken the whole
Both sides
I suppose

However it goes down
It won’t be said
I didn’t try

You thought you left her with scars
But she walked away with lessons

Beautiful men are a breed truly rare
Different than handsome, or merely fair
Beautiful men
Get me tingling
A dimpling in my smiles
🌸Blush🌸
Beautiful men
It’s not how they look
It’s something within

I am the old lady
Stumbling down a dark, hard path
Telling myself there’s sunlight
And I’m frolicking in the grass
Gassed up grassed up
Ready to go
Fast or slow
Waiting to know
Which direction to go

I wanna laugh so hard til my belly hurts
I wanna order a sundae complete with the works
I wanna get tan lines on every inch of my skin
I surely wanna dance and sing
I wanna run to the top of the hill
And proclaim “I AM KING”
But since I’m a girl
I can’t do everything

I wear my desperation for him
On my sleeve
On my legs
On my chest
And all over me
I put up no illusions
Of how I hope it to be
Plenty of delusions
And nutty dreams
I carry with me
And show them to him
Honestly
I am the “crazy”  lady
He knows he can believe
Lusting for him
And writing him poetry

Is it easy to ignore
Or do you almost
Forget
It’s something you don’t want to know
Yet?
Or maybe never
Whatever, whether
I couldn’t have tried any better
Though it was unsuccessful
It was my pleasure

Here I am
All brash and cocky
Talkin’ ‘bout
“He’s gonna miss me”
Been saying it over and over again
Surely because I’ve been missing him
He might be back around one day
I might find the right words to say
On this forgiveness mission
None of it matters anyway
When he’d be foolish to listen
Tangled webs hanging
In the corner I painted myself within
When one cannot blame anyone else
Excuses wear real thin
His final gift to me
The growth I feel within

As far as fools go
I’m one of the best
Usually I’m pretty bright
It’s only to you
I be the fool
Some primal urge
To bow and purge
Adorations, speculations
Whatever comes to soul
I have the urge to let you know
You ignite fire all around
Raze debris right to the ground
And now new growth is found
Rich, volcanic stew
All because of you

Dark times
Lately
Swimming in the murky waters
Of irony
A pimple long ready to burst
A ***** ***** mess
And the guilty party
Still insists they are the best
It seems to be the war
Of the self-entitled brats
Who think they deserve
To prosper
Cuz they got their old money
Search around there somewhere
And there's some form of slavery
And they walk around
Proud as can be

I ain’t gonna recover from wanting you
It will always be there
I might wind up meeting somebody new
But if you came around
Asking for me
I would answer so hastily
Heads would spin
And everyone would see
There isn’t anyone else as perfect for me
As you seem to naturally be
Beautiful, man, beautiful mind
Beautiful soul, so **** fine
So I will stand here in line
Waving my arms and shouting my lines
Maybe one day, it will be the right time
And I’ll throw up just the right sign
To cause your attention to become mine

I survived many things that should have shattered me
My people know what I mean
Now I stay here
Unangry
Peaceful as a girl could be
I don’t want to hurt or blame anybody
And I think that is the strength in me

The hinges upon which a maybe swings
Potential for any things
Sometimes, if one is really
Desperately
Holding onto  what they want to see  
An unsaid no
Can almost be
A maybe
To someone who refuses to agree  
What obviously
Never will be

Peace is the greatest commodity
A soul can have
Individually
Or globally
And if it’s done properly
It is also free

I see you dangling there
At the end of your rope
Holding on for easier times
Holding on for hope
They will come
As they tend to do
I wish I could make it easy for you
But if you put the work in

I promise it's worth it

All that **** wrong with you
Well, I see that too
What’s a girl supposed to do
When she sees the blue
And somehow
It’s the perfect hue

This poem is not about you
I promise
It's really not
I think you should just get over yourself
I'm not giving you a second thought
Do you think the world revolves around you?
Oh, I'm sure! I'll bet you do!
I'll bet you'll think this poem is about you, too
I can't convince you it's not
You're so confused
But this poem
Is not about you

I am moth
You are flame
One of us will never be the same
I suppose it's more dangerous for me
But wings
Create wind
Though who's to say
Extinguishing a candle
Doesn't set it free?

I get closer
Every day

Time
Set in stone
Yet
So fluid too
Sometimes it flies
Some days drag on
But no matter what the day will do
Time is the same
And the difference is you

He is my amnesia boyfriend
C’mon
You know that guy
You know you used to love him
But you can’t remember why

I judge people for little things
And I judge myself for this
I can be a nasty *****
I am working on it

I am not the type to build up your ego
With false praise and compliments
I don't go out of my way
To accomodate
Your issues or irrational concerns
I won't play mind games
Or accept them from you
It seems that's what you are used to
You hesitate before you speak
Judging what you'll say
And I can't help but think
Liars do it that way
But also
Maybe
It could be
You're used to being inauthentic
Because you needed to be
I suppose in time I'll see

My dreams are not bigger than my abilities
But still out of reach
I am probably lying to myself
Maybe we all are
I like to think I could be great
If the opportunity arose
But greatness is likely
More drive
Than ability
And when driving
I tend to get lost in the music
Greatness gets found
I suppose

Is it alright
If I imagine you
Sweaty and ****?
Do I have your permission
To pretend you’re positioned
On top of my body
And under me, too?
Can I lick all over you?
In my ***** ***** mind
You taste so salty
And feel so **** fine
Do you mind
What I do to you in my mind?  
Bumping, rocking, forceful grind
I’m taking advantage of you
Using your body
Tasting your sweet
Tenderizing your meat
In my fantasy
You’re doing the same to me
If you do not disagree
In my imagination
That’s how it will be
You making it hot and heavy
With me

Every life leads to
Something bigger than
The sum of the parts
Tissues, fluids
Meat, bones
Kids
Creations
Art
What is left
Is rarely nothing
We live on
Somehow
The lucky ones

To me this looks like permission
“Run free in your poetry”
And throughout my history
No kinder words have been given
To me

I cannot understand how he could have
Fallen  for her
An otherwise perfect man
Feeding the greedy cat with the
Persistent purr
Glamour on the skin
Pettiness within
How he missed all that
Before he got too far in
Is so far from right
It’s almost a sin.
Still smell ****
From what that man stepped in
It will bring stress and strife
Falling for the beautiful ***
Without making sure it’s well-wiped

Don't tell me you have hazel eyes
When there's not a hint of green
Don't tell me you washed the dishes
When none of them are clean
Don't tell me you've been true
When you hide half of what you do
And please avoid showing me anything
Because none of it's really you

UGH!
I hate your sorry ***
Excuses laced with
Balderdash
Never is the blame on you
Even when facts
Bear out to prove it true
There's always someone else to blame
Who you identify with
Inferences
Not by name
I rolled my eyes
And dismissed you
But so many people
Think you're so true

Some kinda something is there
Between us otherwise strangers
Small interactions
Now and then
Mysterious energy
I can’t explain
Between you and me
Over airwaves
Almost anonymously
But some way
Somehow
It means something to me

I ask him for what I want
And he will not comply
That’s what I get
For falling for such a hard headed guy

If God really liked humans best
We would be able to fly
Yeah, we’ve got these incredible brains
But God clearly loves birds more than you or I