Here I be
Your personal freak on a leash
Self-imposed
And unwilling to leave
Here I be
While you ignore me
Apparently
Permanently
Here I be

I wanna be angry
And stomp my feet
Run into the street
And scream like a banshee
I wanna curse
Wish you the worst
Pray for you to feel the thirst
I wanna bring down the boom
Cast a spell so you see me in every moon
I wanna bring myself to you
Then turn and show you my back
I want you to yearn for me
As if I’m all you lack
I want to fill your senses
Till you cannot go without
You can be the teapot
And I will be the spout
I want to be the song
You whistle as you go along
And all who hear it pause
To hear the Pied Piper
And her cause
I want to be the horses and the men
Who put Humpty Dumpty together again
I want to be the plate you lick clean
Or even lick *****
You know what I mean
I want to be the mosquito
Piercing your skin
I want to be the air you’re breathing in
I want to sin and sin and sin
But we both know I ain’t getting in
Meanwhile you sit under my skin

At this moment I am at Peace
With what we will never be
Maybe
But I’m still not really free
Do I have to stop wanting
And trying
To be at Peace?
Is Peace only found when it’s in the past
Or can I still try?
And remain at Peace
Is trying the opposite of being at Peace?
How can I accept what may never be
When there’s still so much of that “may”
In me?

Curse the eyes that won’t look past
Curse the ears that refuse to hear your silence
Curse the heart
And the brain
Stuck on impossibility
Causing themselves such pain
Curse the lack of refrain
Curse myself
For cursing you
With this sorry ***
Poor me
Curse fest
And curse this curse fest too

Why can’t I write about snow
Or trees?
Find passion in what I’m surrounded with
Whatever it be?
Nature
So many poets have done it
Successfully
Not me
I can’t find passion writing about a tree
As beautiful and magestic as they be
Even the blade of grass
Does it’s thing regally
Standing up, though trod upon
Cut down every week
That blade of grass
Exists defiantly
Hey!  There it is!
The poetry

I beg like a ***
For a token or dime
I spend all of my time
On this lonely street
Freezing to death
While you hoard the heat
And just like the typical
One who drives by
You avoid my eye
So you don’t have to see
The hungry
Me
There’s thousands of bums on the street
And you can’t give them all a thing to eat
Least of all

Me

Cracks
Like spiderwebs
Filters
Really
Of what we allow ourselves to see
Living inside the bowl
Pretending to be free
I stare at this one way screen
Wondering if you’re watching me
Building webs
Diligently