You witnessed it all
Til it turned to smoke
All the effort
Nothing gained
Lost is time, and maybe confidence
Only ashes remain
Along with this sooty stain
I have no right to complain
But here I do, anyway
All the liberties I take
You gave me none
For goodness sake

I might be almost ready to move away
If there is no choice
Which there seems to be not
Choice voiced
Accepted not my choice
I suppose you hope for me
To find someone who is healthy
And you will probably celebrate to see
Me writing someone else poetry
That seems to me
The kind of man you be

I go off
Whether you notice
Or not
Check out other spots
There’s gotta be one
Somewhere
Who I’d rather love than you
It would be healthy for me to
Focus on someone new
I know this to be true
And if I know you
You wish it for me, too
Wonder what a girl can do
With everything I’ve learned
Through you

Did you know
And pretend to not?
How much guilt have you got?
Did you look the other way
Or justify
“Well, they want to play?”  
Are you mad at yourself
For what you didn’t say?
Would it have helped
Anyway?  
That thing been there
******* out all of the fresh air
Eating away at the game you love
All that **** you could never scrub
Is that why you walked away?  
Burdened with too much weight
Of all those things you couldn’t say
“Games” you didn’t want to play
And if that be the case
Will the justice long delayed
Have any effect on
Your decisions from today?

I want to believe
You want to know me
Too old for foolish dreams
Too young to leave gracefully
I realize you can see
How bent and broken I be
If I were you
I probably
Would ignore me, too

The hinges upon which a maybe swings
Potential for any things
Sometimes, if one is really
Desperately
Holding onto  what they want to see  
An unsaid no
Can almost be
A maybe
To someone who refuses to agree  
What obviously
Never will be

I want to say
One day it will be too late
But that wouldn’t be true
I cannot imagine
There will be a date
I wouldn’t go running to you