Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Sep 2019 Kris Balubar
J
I never understood
Why I can't be happy,

It always feels like happy is
Only ever a temporary thing.

Sometimes life drags you down
Life's really not bad yet it hurts,

It's so hard to sleep,
Even worse getting up.

Do I hate myself so much
I refuse to enjoy my life?
Seems like all weeks are tough lately, work is tough but I don't think it's just that.
Babe I hope you know
Every silver lining found
Is shaped just like you
My silver lining forever
 Sep 2019 Kris Balubar
eileen
leave me
you know
you don't need me

I picked the moon
off the sky
she's inside my pocket

She's mine
She's mine

don't lie

I won't believe you this time

leaving
so soon
I know
you don't need me

the moon is mine
the moon is mine

She's going to leave me

and
she will always comes back to me
 Sep 2019 Kris Balubar
Nylee
No grey
 Sep 2019 Kris Balubar
Nylee
A clear sky
No grey sight
With fist full of desires
green dreamy eyes
I fly away
.
Suddenly, I understand it all.
Yet the world is a mystery and I am lost in it.

Ages are a time and emotion.
13 is mid afternoon. Lagging and energetic.
15 is the morning sun. Rising groggy and regretful.

17? 17 is the night.
17 is the span between 11-1.
When you aren't wild yet but things are certainly different.
17 is the city lights and no seatbelt.
17 is the teenage cliché,
shadowed by the unknown of what is to come.

17 is crying in the hallways and stargazing on the lawn.
17 is having a bottle of ***** under the bed,
but being too scared to drink it.
17 is Ribs and loneliness,
As you watch the night slip away and the knowledge hits you that you now have to wait for morning.

17 is the unknown.
17 is taking risks.
Not because you are brave,
but because you don't have anything left to give.
17 is to be lost,
but to be okay with that.

17 is slowly coming down from the high of growing up,
Reflecting on all you have lived,
As you patiently wait for your life to begin.
written 4/19/18
I forget how to breathe sometimes,
and every inhale becomes a gasp,
like my heart may stop
if I can’t control the rise and fall
of my chest.

I often count to ten, let my mind relax
between each breath and each number.
The calm is like invading sleep
as it creeps over my numb limbs,
and I wonder as my mind wanders,

is this what dying feels like?
Or is this simply the moment
we accept an outcome
we’re always too afraid
to attempt to comprehend?
Next page