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You steal away my smile
Replacing with hurt
My mind consumed with ease
Making me think I'm dirt

I'm tired of the pain
Future dark
Bleak
Display doesn't seem like home
Gets me not wanting to speak

I try yes I attempt to move on
Right the flaws inside
Always reminded of the past
I can't run or hide

You are doing just great
Dandy
Look up with determined grit
Here below the surface
Admit defeat and quit
Written 2-22-21
In cover of night I hide my flaws
Sealed them in the blackened air
Darkness cloaks my ugly parts
Like they were never there
Nightfall disguises my ugliness in shadows so dark
The darkness holds desires
Through life is always there
Presence that never expires
Can always feel his stare

Waiting to take happiness
Step off a ledge to get away
That only brings me more stress
I struggle every day
Depression is always looming overhead just waiting to come back around and bring rain clouds
Maybe I am where I need to be
The reason presently I can't see
Leaves with flourish spring from tree branches
Try to stay above these mental avalanches
Inside I am frozen
Hopeless
Blue
Outside I pretend it isn't true
Written 2-22-21
When words too wild to catch and corral onto paper
Begin to build up

Stumble on stupid thoughts stacking higher and higher

And fly the instant fingers graze their feathers
The desire to pick up
Run
Escape the earth I walk upon
Everything else has disappeared
Fate
Faith
Life
Love
Still carry on
Some things in this world are eternal
Awesome
I am happy to hear you are happy

I love happily ever afters

You deserve fairytales

Like we had once upon a time before midnight struck and switched everything back to ****
Not every person gets a happy ending
The gentle bite of silence
In night seems like a kiss
My gaze held as a weapon
Ignoring risk

So I remain free from fear
Doesn't work too well
Between eyes and mine is space
Day after day I miss your smell

Turn not ahead but towards me
Me and you formerly had it all
Stars used to shine for only us
They have since begun to fall

But if you remember
I'll love you til I die
Depths of devotion
Give me one more try
Written 2-22-21
More than not spend all day in bed
Remarkable how depression works around the clock
By the time I manage to raise my head
Sheep gather to be counted in a flock
I'm only not depressed when I am asleep
Closing off all I can't decide
Gotta lock myself inside
I hate my indecisiveness
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