I am so many things in this life , what I choose for me to be .
I will remain strong and not consider all the cruel things you say to me .
I am not the Matt that fits inside a  door .
I am not nor will ever be a ***** or a *****.
So when you stand like a coward and spit words in my face .
Be sure that you mean them because they can never be erased .I'm sorry that you feel the need to cause me such pain.
It must be a living hell inside your brain.
I'm so much more than what your eyes can see
You will never know nor will i let you take that away from me.
The woman that I really am inside this  shell
God made me special and all you've done is drag me through hell .
I have to forgive you because My Lord says to
But He never said I had to forget all you have put me through.
I understand you you have the need to feel control at all cost to you.
I hope the price you had to pay is worth everything you do.
Because when it's all said and done and I am gone in a blink of an eye.
I've left you these words to remind you daily so you never have to question why!!
Abuse is much more than a slap or a hit.
Enough is enough when I tell you to quit.
Just because you have the body of a man doesn't give you the right.
Your body parts don't make you a man nor do the words you spit when we fight.
Maybe one day you will grow up and see
I am more of a woman than the man you will ever be.

We cherish our memories of things from our past
Often running them through our minds wondering why things couldn’t last
Why promises made of a forever love were all broken
To carry the pain of knowing they were simply words spoken
No meaning behind them no truth did they tell
Your lies have haunted me and drug me through hell
I’ve grown so much in this time you’ve been away
Never losing hope when you came back to me you were here to stay
That wasn’t the case as I had wished
You have no regrets for the time you have missed
You took for granted not only my heart
But this little girl you claimed to love from the start
It’s so hard for me to say goodbye
But you have broken my heart with no reason why
Keep your empty promises and those words that you speak
My worth is much more than a man that has become so weak.
It will be hard I know this is true
But I’ve come to realize I miss myself so much more than I miss you

Alone in the morning and even at night is how she lives her life
The days of her life have crept up on her tired broken soul, as she scoots off her bedside, with pain in her body stabbing like a knife
For many years there hasn’t been one day she hasn’t felt like giving up her fight
But the way she was raised and the woman she had become, giving up wouldn’t be right
Yet she wondered oh so often just what it was she was fighting for
For her body had all but given in to pain and the ones she loved didn’t seem to love her anymore
Tears all but consumed her once gleaming eyes
For the only thing gleaming in her eyes now are the tears when she cries
She will leave this earth with many unanswered questions in her mind
When she’s no longer here she wonders of the memories she will leave behind
Was she something so awful to be treated so bad
She will leave this earth with her heart broken and sad.

Days fall upon a broken soul bringing darkness before the night
Consuming ones mind leaving no filter to distinguish wrong from right.
Voices from a place unknown with breath of stagnate smoke whispering in their ear
Placing upon their victim evil thoughts of fear
Appearing from behind the shell of their remains
For when unveiling their face hollow eyes is what you see with a trail of tear drop stains
Hiding in every corner and trusting no one
Forgetting  how to live  staying on the run
The pain and sadness overtook everything you once were and anything you ever wanted to be , you allowed the drug to poison you now may you
Rest In Peace

A place that ignites the aroma of a salty kiss filled with romance and love are of the white glistening beaches of the oceans edge
Lovers from near and far embrace their love with the waves of the water sounds through the beats of their hearts
There remains something so magical  and unknown from the depths of those never touched ocean floors yet in the air the feeling it brings
The soft wind always blowing through your hair with a hint of sand touching your face and the waves wet your feet
You draw in the sand a heart filled with your names and watch as a wave surfs in and carries it to sea
What a divine intervention the ocean can be

God must have had a plan when He allowed our paths to cross
I never imagined another feeling my pain and having so much loss
Through so much in such little time we’ve been knocked down and got back up again
We’ve stood against the system and for what we believe in
I honestly thought we had won the war when they set your son free
Now I sit here in disbelief for your son has turned against you and the system has taken mine from me
I’ve watched you endure way to much pain
All we both wanted was to show our sons there is sunshine between the rain
I’m not real sure where we went wrong
Talked to and treated like were nobody and made to feel like we didn’t belong
Sadness pours upon my heart like a wounded soldier lost his war
Now a glimpse of reality spins Around in my head  leaving the thought of I should have done more
I’m so sorry for the hurt in your heart I wish I could make it go away
I feel you pain and know how bad it hurts you Every single day
I will never understand how loving your child and wanting them to live right
Was reason enough to be treated this way, how they didn’t even care where we laid our head at night
I’ve watched you live out of a shop that wasn’t fit to live
When a few miles away your only son has a home but not a care did he give
Being treated like the enemy when all we wanted for them was the best
We’ve exhausted all of our efforts now it’s time For us  to rest
I hope and Pray we live to see the day when our boys realize we only meant them well
But until that day comes all we can do is pray and only time will tell.