...
what's funny is
I always knew

I want to smile
A real smile
Not the fake ones
I put on every day
I want to smile
But I can't
I can't be happy
When there is nothing
To be happy about
A smile seems to hard to do
When all you can think about is
Unhappiness

I don't want to do any of this anymore.
I just want to walk out the door.
I've been tired of this for such a long time.
I keep waiting for all these dots to align.
Right now, that doesn't look like that's ever going to happen.
They're all spread out without any rhyme or reason.
These dots won't connect.
I feel like a wreck.
I stuck in the middle of this.
With dots representing my existence.

clean laundry
the smell before rain
that feeling after rain
a fresh cup of coffee
a new box of crayola crayons
a bag of m&ms;
a used bookstore
fresh baked bread
a fluffy towel after a long shower
a sweets shop
a bouquet of flowers
getting in bed after a long day
the elephant room
crunching snow
birds in the morning
sunrise
sunset
stoplight kisses
foggy nights
a summer breeze
ocean waves
the quiet things
the blood in my veins
the sun
the moon
the stars
my love