I love too deeply.
Willing to hold onto the last thread of hope, no matter how small.
Even if you push me way,
Tell me you hate me,
Ignore me.
There's always going to be that fraction of a chance
that one day maybe you'll come back to me.
And we can go back to how we used to be.
Back to that place where I was happy.
So here I'll wait,
Counting the days until I'm whole agin.

When I was young I was a christian,I was happy and cute
When I went to elementary I got bullied a lot in k1-2 grade I didnt care
Then I switched schools the bullies got worse
Then i switched schools again
And again
And again
Then I ended up in a middle school
The bullying stopped
Then I met a boy..
This boy changed me
He beat me, he taunted me, he said he loved me and he even ***** me...
I found self harm
I found booz
Then I met a man..
We didn't know it but we loved each other and still do
He's courageous
He's strong
He's moving he's kind
But we didn't date in all the years we've known each other
Then I switched schools again
****** harassment,being hit,being bullied , called ugly, getting played
I found a group of nerds that I get along with but it doesn't help
Then I found ***
Then i found miscarriage
Then I started dating the man I have loved and still do love
I finally found happiness
I also found a lesson
Nothing worth fighting for is easy
Nothing easy is worth fighting for
My relationship with the man is rocky
Its hard but it's worth fighting for
I've come far in life with my pain and sorrow
But with love I know that I will see tomorrow

I want the blood to flow like my tears
But I can't do it
I want to let all the pain out
But I promised I won't do it
I want to watch the blood seep out of me
But it would hurt him more
I want all the pain to come out from my core
But he would blame himself
I want to hit a vein and watch the red paint my skin
But breaking a promise to him is a sin
I want to watch the blood hit the floor
But if I do it him and I would be no more
I want to cut
But I won't

I won't because I love him
Even though he didn't tell me he loves me back tonight
I won't because I promised I wouldn't
Even though he forgot his promise last night
I won't because I don't want him out of my life
Even if at the moment he doesnt want to be in mine

No matter what happens
I can't cut tonight

The warm tears running down my face
Yet another day of my life gone to waste
What's the point in trying when I will always fail
I just want to be happy but my hearts so frail
I take everything personally I always will
Maybe its not peoples words but my emotions that ****
Maybe not seeing him drives me insane
No its my fears every fear leads to a stream of tears

Fear of him forgetting me someday
Fear he might drink his life away
Fear that I'll die alone
Always fearing the unknown

I love you please pick me up
Please don't let me drown
Please dont let me fall to the ground
Please understand how much I appreciate you
Please understand that I don't underestimate you
Please know that you are my rock,sword and shield
I'm begging you please never yield

Baby I love you
You make my life completed
Please know that you're not worthless but you're needed

I love him
I made him angry
I'm saying all the wrong things
I'm praying its a dream

I'm sorry I'm a **** up
I'm sorry i can't see you
I'm sorry if all my emotions annoy you

Baby i need you
I want you
I love you all of this is true

Right now i feel as if I'm losing you
You the person I love I'm scared you're gonna be gone
Im scared you're gonna leave me
Honey listen please

I know I'm not perfect
I know my flaws
I know I have problems
Im sitting here clenching my jaws

I feel the tension between us
I know you feel it too
******* it I'm a **** up
All I want is you

Honestly this poem isn't flowing smoothly at all
But I'm falling and falling fast along with falling hard

I need you Nelson Antone Hall
Without you my life means nothing at all

When I'm sobbing you're there
When I'm laughing you're the reason I am
When I'm smiling it's caused by you
When I'm having a day where I falling down you pick me up off the ground
When I feel like giving up you keep me going

Today was aweful for me but you made me realize something
You told me I was strong
You told me they won't matter when I grew up
You told me I'm going to make it
You told me you love me no matter what

Then it hit me...
You're right!
I am strong ive been through a lot and I'm still standing
They don't matter and they never will its highschool who cares
I am going to make it I'm smart and hardworking
I know you love me thats what keeps me going

I have something nobody else has
I have you