I used to like you, a lot.
My heart soared when you called my phone
My eyes bulged when you texted me five years later
And you called me gorgeous
Something I’ve heard so many times but it only mattered when
You said it
To me
And I thought that those feelings were gone
And I suddenly can’t tell if it’s because you’re back or if they never went away
I’m missing you
But at the same time I’ve forgotten everything we did
It’s like I pushed it to the back of mind
And somehow it got lost
And it’s come all back to haunt me
My brain hurts
With those feelings
From 2013
Because the feelings I have for you now
In 2017
Don’t feel the same
So should I even try?
Where’s your head?
Why can’t you focus?
Why can’t you decide?
Why won’t you just understand
That he’s not it
And you’re better off alone
He’s just a reminder of everything
You could never be
Someone’s lover
Someone’s everything

“Drugs are all fun and games until you watch someone you love become someone you don’t know.”

She called her daughter a ***** today
Something she said she’d never do
She treats her boyfriend better than her child
And she can’t even see it
Her lies fly out of her mouth like it’s been recited to perfection
And I’m tired of listening to them
I wish that my mothers life wasn’t so ******
So that my sisters could’ve had something
I wish for a lot of things
But a family is what I want the most
I wish I could tell them all how much I love them
But how do I do that
When the drugs are so strong that they can’t see past it?
When the need is so strong they’ll do anything to be high
And I know I should try and help
But how do you help someone who doesn’t want help?
How am I supposed to do all these things
When I’m only one person?
How do I tell them that their life will be ****
If they don’t pick it up and do something with it?

You’re Satan’s lover
You have to be because I haven’t met anyone as evil as you
I stumbled upon you
It’s the one regret I  will always have
Because you sneaked your way in
And you clutched tight
Worn down but I still fought
And tried to rip you off
But your lies made sense in my mind
And for a while I  let you stay
But you hurt me again
Then whispered in my ear another time
And for a while I let you stay
Because I once thought of you as mine
Now I want you to be ****** to hell
And I want to be the one to do it
I’ve waited so long for my freedom
And now I have it
But I no longer seek to be free
I’m too broken from rescuing myself
My hands tattered and ******
Eyes wet with tears
Lips scowled in pure rage
My mind blank with nothing but the thought of your face
******
Bruised
Scarred
And your mind
Broken
Your pride
Destroyed
Your voice
Gone
Your fear
At an all time high
I wanted you to feel the same way I did so bad
But now that I’ve done it
I realized that this is my greatest accomplishment in life
And I  have nothing left to look at
And to think of myself
But a wilted flower
Who tried her best to stay alive

You’re Satan’s lover
You have to be because I️ haven’t met anyone as evil as you
I️ stumbled upon you
It’s the one regret I️ will always have
Because you sneaked your way in
And you clutched tight
Worn down but I still fought
And tried to rip you off
But your lies made sense in my mind
And for a while I️ let you stay
But you hurt me again
Then whispered in my ear another time
And for a while I️ let you stay
Because I️ once thought of you as mine
Now I️ want you to be ****** to hell
And I️ want to be the one to do it
I’ve waited so long for my freedom
And now I️ have it
But I️ no longer seek to be free
I’m too broken from rescuing myself
My hands tattered and ******
Eyes wet with tears
Lips scowled in pure rage
My mind blank with nothing but the thought of your face
******
Bruised
Scarred
And your mind
Broken
Your pride
Destroyed
Your voice
Gone
Your fear
At an all time high
I️ wanted you to feel the same way I️ did so bad
But now that I’ve done it
I️ realized that this is my greatest accomplishment in life
And I️ have nothing left to look at
But  to think of myself
As a wilted flower

and watch over the woman
who will be my wife, wherever she is

surround her with good people
who will not harm her

give her comfort in moments of sadness
until my arms can do the same

clothe her with peace
until she can hear my voice

and if she be pricked by the ebon briar
of darkness, then light her path toward me

and give me enough days and
strength of step to cross her path

then may I speak words with depth
that cause her to see who You created

When I was 10 my mum Told me that
I was special
The Next day was the First time
she told me to shut up
When I was 14 my Friends told me that
I was funny
The Next day I Heard them laugh about me
And when I was 16
You told me I was beautiful
You told me you loved me
You told me you would do anything for me
But I did not believe you
Because I learnt that people don't mean
What they say
And I did not want to get disappointed again