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Today was the end of my life,
yet tomorrow I see all.

I am a rocket creature      /      My bones lie melted,

in the forest, the trees are  /   tire tracks which scar my mangled body:

my landing strip. No better     \    flesh and bones and

sanctuary than this     /          humanitarian malice.

God-given world,             /       Betrayal by the ones we preceded,

untouched; delicate arboretum    \      metal glowing eyes above,

Palm fronds— my blankets and    \    screaming rubber wheels,


everlasting life felt through the wind in my fur.


Anti-anthropomorphic heaven,     /     throat charred of secondhand;

  I take   /   the blood of my posterity stained

green for granted. She     \   sees the world I am at the mercy of,

     who does not belong to me,      \      I am a slave to what he wants

yet I am a microscopic essentialist     /    and a blink of robotic velocity

                        to her                   /           in which I cannot keep up.


Born of Gaia and a martyr of Growth.
A poem about the perspective of industrialization from road ****… a squirrel probably… read both sides individually or together.
the coda,
            it haunt s
I was not ready to
return to the start.
an abruption of horror and
loss;
how could you loathe me?

she doesn’t know my favorite flower;
she’ll never ask

you somehow say more words
although it was your decision
silence is just a conversation of the eyes

at a time we shared a tongue
now
our ****** up gaze holding, of which
such an act is outside
the law.
such hell-bound intimacy

the coda
you haunt
In response to “The View From Halfway Down”

“A river rich and regal”
Whose currents drown the sound
Of my screaming from the banks
It’s too late- you’re water bound

A day that nears perfection
The wind is slim to none
The summer sun kissing your thrashing skin
I’m on my knees, your deed is done

I’ve forever blamed the river
In its’ roaring silence state
If only you could have heard me
Maybe I’d have changed your fate

I watched you hit the water that day
My memory will never be cured
Of the pain in which you’ve gone through
All that I have caused that you’ve endured

It’s my fault. It's me you chose to love.
The river’s screams silencing my cries,
As you descended from above.
When I was eleven years old
I took a weekend trip to heaven.
It wasn’t like you’d think;
it wasn’t white and fluffy,
there weren’t trumpets and harps of gold
that serenaded our footsteps.
No, it was actually my darkened
neighborhood cul de sac,
the echoes of the yelling of
“ghost in the graveyard”
bounced off the front windows of
the houses that encircled us.

I guess in that sense you could say
that for a fateful night heaven and hell
made up and buried the zero hour hatchet
to form a 3rd, darker and funner location,
one that kids could hide from each other
by laying in the grass, one where spirits
and scraped knees conjoined
to invent new life reincarnate.

I have never heard more worship-filled
sounds than the ringing of my doorbell past 10 PM,
and I have never seen an angel like the
10 year old boy with a bleach-blonde bowl cut
singing to me, “do you want to play night games?”

When my parents were kind that day
or at least asleep I would put on
my best shoes and run into my driveway,
and faced the star-filled colosseum with
6 other middle school boys;
the possibilities seemed limitless.
Those times I wasn’t a girl or a boy
but simply a phantom and a gladiator,
and I knew not of life or death
but only of the games that went on into the night.

We competed in trials and prayed
to not be found, if we were extra lucky
the soldier-bearing adults next door would
make us s’mores like the lords we were,
doting on us as if we were eating our last,
or possibly very first meal.

We always knew we would resurrect again,
and that with the morning came the sunburns
on our faces and the colosseum would
morph into concrete once more.
But until our midnight deathly escapade finally waned,
we rolled in the grass and
held hands and danced as
the heavenly ghosts we were.
I am sure that if you
drew my blood and took a sip
I would taste of carefully spun elixir
of the lives
and bones
and the hot tears
of my friends.

It’s Ella’s birthday party and
if I were to choose
one day to show an alien
One hour even!
To prove humanity’s humanity,
it would be
Ella lighting 20 birthday candles
on a two by two cupcake
Melting
burning and
laughing.

My friends’ voices are
nestled in my vocabulary and
Their warmth is
embedded in my embrace.
When you hug me
The arms of my
Soulmates are cinching
the essence of
Who I am
To your body—

When you hug me,
You are hugging my friends.

Fingers curling in a wave;
Our tendons interwoven
below the skin
resulting in a mutt
bred from the conception
of inside jokes,
And cuddles on my L shaped couch
that is themed like a bed.

To say we are bonded
is a trivialization—
I exist in the skin
of their very being,
and them in mine.

If you listen closely
Two cups on a string
from my mind to my heart
would be vibrating with the timbre
Of their tears
and outbursts
And roaring fits.

Whoever was able to
capture the feeling of Sun
on your skin and transplant her
into my heart
I will worship you,

for when I am hanging out
with my friends
golden light illuminates,
And I can feel the
warmth of the sun
and my friends
in my love-filled bones.
I wish someone could throw us both
into a melting *** or fiery inferno,
so that our skin would melt off our bones;
When we are dragged from the embers
our muscles would be fused in a way
They couldn’t tell your skin from mine.

I want our tendons to be French braided,
Our curled hair to be stirred into the
membrane of our shared bloodstream.

Sometimes when you drag your fingers across my skin,
I feel my skin shifting like sand;
Your simple touch leaving chasms within
the soft clay of my malleable complexion,
My body forever memorizing
your fingers swimming through my hair.

I don’t know how to tell you that I
equate your touch with sipping
The Nectar Of The Gods,
How the graze of your pinky finger
reminds me of
being swallowed by sunlight
and digested into a Lunar Eclipse.

If I could puncture your palm with a needle,
and stitch your hand to mine,
I would have already knitted our fingers together
to create the world’s warmest tapestry of
Skin and Love and fingernails.
I.

My full time job is watching sand blow in the wind
but that is normal when you wear cowboy shoes.

I would wear boots like my comrades or spurs
but I walk a mile in your soles instead.

Lead-trodden, of quicksand glory,
walking feels like falling and I grasp onto anything I can.

But you pitched a tent in each grain and
sand is not meant for catching.

Cowboys don’t cry and so I built this plateau filled life
and fold criss-crossed, wrung-out flannels for one.

Fire flies and time dries and I see your face
in every passing cloud and cactus spine.

I am not a real cowboy because I wear shoes
and this life isn’t really mine but still the sand blows.


II.

I don’t know why we can’t just try, because what if I am missing out on the greatest thing to happen in my life? Her words bounce like rocks in my brain and dent each surface they hit but my eyes are as dry as sand, and I am not allowing myself to think anything and so I feel everything.

Why can’t     I try.

I want to buy a crab to keep in my pants so that the pinching keeps me awake in this expiring dream. Promise that when you are ready, you will find me. I vow that day to become a cowboy in tennis shoes.
Heat contained salt on lips—

leaving         something       so      good    can   only  hurt sobad.

I keep adding songs to a playlist unlistened to, a time capsule of teleportation that could inject your unused love drug into my brain. Teeth marks  t a t t o e d  on my collarbone and a r/e/v/o/l/v/e/r in my eardrum call me to the life of caked mud. It all drowns. Horses and spat gum and your name I threw in the river that I wish would bob to the surface.  


III.

Tongue on top lip and spicy spider-like showmance,
A web of tastebuds and sticky fingers spool

in 1950s romance film.
Your name is mine in seventy different languages,

In my past life I hated cowboys and
everyone that wasn’t you.

We two step under fluorescent skylights and kiss
in soaking clothes and absorb grass stains on our skin.

Every book ever written is about us and
tonight we are cowboys under the evening strawberry sky.

In every life you nap in my shadow and
God stitches your outline to my silhouette Peter-Pan style,
and I harvest your veins and braid them into mine to make
a cross-hatched blanket I can sit on in the sand.


IV.

I open my mouth to swallow sand and it tastes of rubber and sweat and anything else your tennis shoes may contain. It may be all that's left of you and so instead of necking it down I hold a mouthful in the space between my teeth and tongue and lay myself down on your shadow to sleep.

— The End —