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4h · 18
Dying Man
I found a dying man
He was laying on the ground
Blood streaming down his chest
Gasping desperately for air

He tried to dig out the knife from his chest
But it was plunged in too deep
He put his hands over his wounds
As if to stop the bleeding

He reached out his hand
And tried to touch me
It was a plea for help
He was asking me to save him

But I didn’t help him
I just stood there and watched him die
I didn’t help him at all
Because I am the one who stabbed him
One day when I’m walking in the sun,
and the rays of the sun warm my shoulders,
I will know you are looking down at me,
shining your bright rays of hope into my heart.

I will look up and see your smile,
and your “Husky stubbornness” too,
sneaking through your mischievous grin,
as if to say ‘I love you’
then I will take a deep breath and,
smile right back at you,
a secret moment shared between two buddies,
that can’t be expressed in words.

You were one of a kind, very unique,
unlike any other dog I’ve met,
You had your own ways of showing,
your love, kindness and affection,
You did not jump on my lap,
or lick my face into a slobbery mess,
You did not ‘speak’ like other huskies,
but talk we did, all the time, you and me,
in our own unique parlance.

You were a scaredy cat, yes you were,
afraid of the slightest rustle of the leaves,
one little noise is all it took,
for you to rush back to Mimi,
and hide behind her back.

You were a gentle one, weren’t you, my love?
never have I heard you raise your voice,
or growl at another dog,
the word ‘mean’ was foreign to you,
Love was the only sentiment you knew.

you had your own way with everyone,
Anishka was your pack leader,
always to be obeyed,
he taught you all the skills you know,
So he was to be honored and held in high esteem.

Mimi was your Mom,
the one you went to for all your needs,
because you knew that in her loving embrace,
was where you would always find,
a gentle kiss and a warm hug.

For your part, you took upon yourself,
the role of “Mimi Protecter”,
self-appointed though this responsibility was,
you embraced it with utmost seriousness,
Mimi was to be protected at all costs,
She was never to be left behind,
you had to make sure that she was in the car,
before you got in yourself.

then there was Tha…

hmm… where do we put Tha?
Tha was your pal, your buddy,
your comrade and your partner in crime,
When you were in the mood to play,
Tha was your go-to-guy.

when you felt like going on a midnight stroll,
in the dead of winter at 2 o’clock in the morning,
in minus 15 weather,
for no valid reason whatsoever,
except that you simply felt like walking,
Tha was your man.

ah yes, me dressed up in 19 different items of clothing,
and you, yes you, you were buck naked,
prancing merrily in the snow,
while I was shuddering in the bitter cold.

ah but these are the moments I cherish,
those unplanned moments of beautiful comradery,
whether it’s wandering through the forest utterly lost,
or swimming across a scream to get back on the hiking trail,
or running away from a mother bear protecting her cubs
we did it together and we did it our way, didn’t we?

From now on, in our hearts is where you will live,
we will forever love you with the purest love we know,
we did not rescue you from a shelter,
but you rescued us with your love.
this is not ‘goodbye’ my love,
it’s simple ‘see you later’.
When You Wake Up Tomorrow

When you wake up tomorrow
if I am not around, will you miss me?
If you never see me again
how much of a void will I leave in our heart?
Will you know how much I loved you?
will you truly know how much I cared?
nothing in this world mattered to me
more than being my best for you
I loved you with a pure love
that sprang up from a flawed heart
from within a flawed man
but my love for you was never flawed
But now this great gulf divides us
and it keeps getting wider
will I ever be able to reach you
to tell you one more time
that I truly love you
that I truly care
How I wish I could turn back time
if only I could start again
if only I could go back to the start
I would make it count
But what’s the point in worrying
about what can’t be changed?
I’ve already lived my life
If you could call it ‘living’

Now the only thing l can do
is to offer you the only gift I can
and that is my absence
hope it will bring you joy
When You Wake Up Tomorrow

When you wake up tomorrow
if I am not around, will you miss me?
If you never see me again
how much of a void will I leave in our heart?
Will you know how much I loved you?
will you truly know how much I cared?
nothing in this world mattered to me
more than being my best for you
I loved you with a pure love
that sprang up from a flawed heart
from within a flawed man
but my love for you was never flawed
But now this great gulf divides us
and it keeps getting wider
will I ever be able to reach you
to tell you one more time
that I truly love you
that I truly care
How I wish I could turn back time
if only I could start again
if only I could go back to the start
I would make it count
But what’s the point in worrying
about what can’t be changed?
I’ve already lived my life
If you could call it ‘living’

Now the only thing l can do
is to offer you the only gift I can
and that is my absence
hope it will bring you joy
4h
crime
a beard hides the nakedness of the face
leaves cover the bareness of the branches
grass covers the planeness of the ground
but nothing covers the shame of your deeds
you came like a thief in the night
like a lion prowling for prey
evil and base were your intentions
sordid and heinous were your actions
with evil in your eyes and hatred in your heart
you lifted the dagger and brought it down hard
with one swift move, you killed the dream
you snuffed out the light and put it to sleep
many a battle i have fought
many a times i have triumphed
many a times i have failed
now i need to rest a little
where can i go to find solace
who will welcome me with open arms
who will give me room to lay down my head
is there anyone out there
in my mind i return to my childhood
oh what a wonderful time it was
so carefree and so innocent
but there were also the lonely moments
there were the sad moments too
but i remember more the happy times
i cherish them all
yes i will return to my childhood
for some solace and peace
yes that is where i will go
there is always room there for me
bur alas!, i can't find it
i can't find my childhood
oh, where can it be
i need to find it
i need to find it now
can you help me?
my brothers, be vigilant
there is a traitor among us
a wolf in sheep's clothing
an assassin with a knife and a smile
he is biding his time
waiting patiently
for the opportune moment
to unleash his terror
be ever so watchful
he has come for blood
and until he gets it
he will not depart
find him you must
**** him out quick
throw him to the wolves
where he will perish
i'm looking for the key to unlock my mind
have you seen it? i don’t know where it is
i have to unlock it, it's urgent
i need to retrieve something
i haven't been there in a while
it's a fascinating place
there is beauty and ugliness
but most importantly, solitude
last time i was there
i vowed never to return
i was done, fatigued, dead
i shut the door and threw away the key
but now i got to find it
i got to open the door once more
got to look inside once again
got to reclaim a vital item
once i lay my hands on it
i will never need to go back
it's the only thing i need
the one thing i can't live without, solitude
4h · 16
lone man
he lives by the sea
he lives by himself
he lives alone
but he was not lonely

no one talks to him
and he talks to no one
people think he is insane
but he just enjoys solitude

he has no use for words
he does not converse
he has no use for people
himself is all he needs

he sees no one
but he sees himself
he hears no one
but he hears himself
he speaks to no one
but he speaks to himself

indeed he needs no one
there is only one thing he desires
and that is solitude
i once went out walking
among the streets of the dead
but they are not quite dead
but they are not alive either

their feet move
their hands grab
their mouths talk
but the soul is dead

once they were alive
filled with life and joy
when they first started out
they were a lively bunch

but with time they started to die
they allowed life to **** them
they didn't put up a fight
they just gave up

it is the saddest sight
dead people walking around
the saddest part yet is
they don't even know they're dead
i have known happy times
i have known sad times
i have known peaceful times
i have known turbulent times

i have been surrounded by friends
i have been surrounded by strangers
i have been surrounded by family
i have been surrounded by aliens

my friends can't make me happy
my enemies can't make me sad
my family can't make me happy
my foes can't make me sad

no one can make me happy
no one can make me sad
only i can make me happy
only i can make me sad

i find happiness being alone
i find happiness in seclusion
i find happiness within me
i find happiness in solitude
i am a wanderer, i wander
i've wandered through the earth
back and forth, i've wandered through
am i looking for something? i don't know

am i looking for something? i don't know
maybe i am, i don't know just yet
for now, i am happy just wandering
so for now i will just keep wandering

life is a journey, not a destination
my journey's been interesting
i've seen some beautiful things
but i've also seen some ugly things

for now i am happy to wander
this much i know
if i am looking for something
i will know when i find it
4h
if
if
if you promise not love me
i promise not to feel
i promise not to care
i promise not to hurt
i promise not to think
i promise not to seek
i promise not to wonder
i promise not to see
i promise not to hear
i promise not to speak
i promise not to breath
i promise not to exist
i promise not to be
but only if you promise not to love me
17h · 37
he
he
he came seeking nothing
yet found what he wasn't looking for
there was nothing he sought
but he found it anyway

when he found it
he couldn't let it be
it meant nothing to him
but he had to have it anyway

it was not his to take
it belonged to another
but he took it anyway
just because he could

once he had it
he didn't want it
he was ready to leave
but not before his last act
which was to destroy it
so that no one could have it
i fell so void
like there is no soul inside me
once where there was joy
now there's only emptiness

i fell numb to the world around me
there is no hope for me
no one can help me
i am beyond redemption

the monster is strong
it does as it pleases
i have no choice
but to obey its voice

oh when will death set me free
from this miserable life
i am too much of a coward to end it
so i will keep hurting them
it's more powerful than me
it takes over anytime it wishes
makes me it's obedient slave
makes me ****, wound and destroy
turns me into the ugly
turns me into the dark
under its control
i lash out, i annihilate
i have no choice
i cannot resist
i can't control it
how do i stop it
i can't control it
but i use it's evil
i can use it against me
i can annihilate me
1d
Sorrow
Can sorrow be lived with?
If so how much?
How much sorrow can you live with?
And for how long?
What do you do when you’ve reached your limit?
What’s there left to do?
Do you end it all?
You cannot end just the sorrow
You can’t **** out the sorrow and enjoy the rest
No you have to end it all
But then there is nothing left
So is it worth it?
1d
Suicide
it flows like sap down my left hand
slow at first, but steadily gathering speed
warm drops of life drip down my fingers
a beautiful dark crimson hue covers the floor
the contrast is quite astounding
the dark red against the white tile
the red is on a ravenous war path
dead set on conquering every bit of white
the white puts on a valiant fight
to hold back the conquering red
but it is futile, the battle is already lost…
as the red covers the last bit of white
I close my eyes
1d · 36
numb
i want to be numb
to all the misery
i want to be numb
to your hypocrisy
i want to be numb
to all the pain
i want to be numb
to the falling rain
i want to be numb
to all your lies
i want to be numb
to the blue skies
i want to be numb
to the whole world
i want to be numb
to the beautiful girl
i want to be numb
to your evil ways
i want to be numb
every moment of today
i want to be numb
to my heart you threw
i want to be numb
especially to you
1d
soldier
i will **** you
not because i hate you
i don't know you
so how can i hate you
but i will **** you
'cos that was the order
and i have to obey it

i've killed many
at first it was hard
but not anymore
now it's easy
take aim, pull the trigger
it's that easy, so easy
i wish it wasn't
i wish it was hard

i **** yours and you **** mine
we are told to **** and we ****
that's the life of a soldier
that's the way it goes
we don't decide to ****
but we decide who dies
the enemy we shoot, dies
we shoot to ****

this is war, so we ****
i **** for my people
you **** for yours
i **** for my ideals
you **** for yours
who is right? who is wrong?
are we both right?
or are we both wrong?

does it even matter?
does it matter who is right?
does it matter who is wrong?
no, it doesn't matter
what's right to me
is wrong to you
what's right to you
is wrong to me

so we ****
'cos we can't decide
who's right and who's wrong
i **** some of yours
you **** some of mine
but some survive
some may survive
but all are wounded
1d
ten
ten
i woke up this morning and ate nine strips of bacon
i could have eaten ten, but i didn't, why?
i don’t know why, but i'm gonna find out
why did i eat nine and not ten?

ten seems like a nice round number
it's the first non-one-digit number
it's the first to break out of that jail
he made it first, then followed all the others

if it wasn't for ten, where would we be today?
we'd be stuck in a single digit world
each month would only have 8 or 9 days
well, except for february, ya know
february will have seb'm

we would not have Christmas and Halloween
you can say good bye to valentines or labor day
forget about Memorial day and april fools
but wait, we will have new years, won't we?

we would only have nine fingers and nine toes
how would that work, how will they be divided?
five on one hand and four on the other?
which one gets five and which one gets four?
hmmmm.... i don't quite know

anyway back to the question at hand
why did i eat nine strips of bacon and not ten
well to be honest with you, this is why
i was full after eating nine
i was but fifteen
when you betrayed me
i was just blooming
when you snuffed out my flame

I had so much to live for
after hiding for two years
i thought i would be safe
but you brought death upon me

I was in love with Peter
he was in love with me
i was going to marry him
we were going to be happy

Margot was but eighteen
she hadn't lived her life
just like peter hadn't his
and i hadn’t mine

but you killed us all
but i don't hate you
because i've never hated
rather i feel sorry for you

you couldn't see the innocence
of our young childhood
you had to ***** it out
you had to see us dead

i feel sorry for you
you must have so much hatred
stored in your inner being
i truly feel sorry for you
Life is a funny thing, it’s always been
Just when you think you are up, it drags you down
With every grasp I try to reach
The elusive promised land
Walked many a mile, I have
But I am yet to see
That glorious land
but get there, one day I will
Then all my sorrow will be gone
All my tears will be wiped away
I will not tire anymore
finally I will be… home
i am alone, but i am not lonely
i am happy to be with myself only
alone is not a bad place to be
there are so many things to hear and see

i am surrounded by a thousand men
but i can hardly wait until when
i will be by myself again
where there is no sorrow or pain

a thousand people have tried to hurt me
a thousand more have tried to **** me
some of them have indeed succeeded
but i am still standing undefeated

i know i will one day be killed
the dreams of my enemies fulfilled
but until that day, i will fight on
until the sun dawns in the morn
Where are you, oh death, my friend
I’ve never shook your cold hand
but I feel like I know you so well
I think about you all the time
I look for you everywhere I go
why do you avoid me like this?
why can’t you just say hi
just wave to me from afar
Tap me on my shoulder when I am asleep
hit me over the head with the rainbow
whisper in my ear and say ‘ala mai’
kiss my coffin and tell me to sleep
Look at me from the mountaintop
say to me you will visit me soon
I wait longingly for that day
when you will squeeze my hand
and take me away to that field
the field of many daylilies
lay me down on the blue thorns
let the long green grass grow over me
let them hide me with their long blades
let me be lost in the green mini jungle
let me lie there and forget the world
and let the world forget me
never to be remembered ever again
1d
Ghosts
i am on my bed, laying on my back
i am looking at the ceiling
i get a strange sensation
that i am not alone in the room

i have laid here on this bed
a million times before
but there is something different today
there is an eerie mist moving around

i see figures walking around in silence
some i know, some i don't
some from the present some from the past
they've all come to say goodbye

you see, i am dying
the next few moments will be my last
don't feel bad, i have no regrets
at least, i'd like to think i don't

the mysterious figures hover over me
they look at me with burning anger in their eyes
i do not know these figures
i do not know why they are angry at me

then i recognize one figure
he is a ghost from the past
he is the ghost of the book i never wrote
you see, i once wanted to be a writer

then i recognize another
he is the ghost of the orphanage
that i never built for the street kids
you see, i once wanted to help the poor

then i recognize yet another
he is the ghost of the racial equality
that i never fought for
you see, i once wanted to fight for justice

yet another ghost i recognize
this time, it’s the ghost of adventure
the adventures i never went on
you see, i once wanted to travel the world

then i see a familiar ghost
this is the ghost of all the missed opportunities
missed chances to help mankind
you see, i once wanted to be a humanitarian

ah, here is one i know well
it is the ghost of sobriety
something i didn't fight hard enough for
you see, once i dreamed of being a teetotaler

I see many more ghosts
now i recognize every single one of them
i find it hard to withstand their anger
they are angry because i never brought them to life

now i understand their anger
all my life i have neglected
my responsibility to give them life
so they must remain dead forever

the ghosts are getting ready to carry me away
one look in their eyes and i see
that it won't be to paradise
i am powerless to protest

heed this warning, you among the living
learn from my mistakes
do not waste your talents
make use of every opportunity

it is too late for me
but you still have time
never let a chance to help
others pass you by
1d
Sleep
You look so peaceful in your sleep
with that beautiful look of serenity on your face
you look like an angel taking a nap
so exquisite, so elegant, so delicate
I wonder if you are dreaming
and if you are dreaming
are you dreaming of me?
are you dreaming of the times we’ve had
the good and the bad?
Are you dreaming of the first time
I held you in my arms and kissed your lips?
are you dreaming of the time I whispered in your ear
that I love with all my heart?
You look so peaceful, without a care in the world
your lips curled up into a seductive smile
your cheeks a rosy hue shining like night fly
I wonder if you are dreaming
But how can you be dreaming?
how can anything be on your mind?
how can your heart be beating
yesterday you breathed you last
I have come to the door so many times
and placed my finger on its latch
gripped it tight and then… stopped…
terrified of what’s on the other side
What’s on the other side?
would be good, or would it be bad?
would it be bliss or would it be sorrow?
I could only guess
Not knowing what lies beyond
I could never gather up the courage
to open this mysterious door
and enter through to explore
But now, after all these years
I am finally ready to open the door
no longer am I afraid of what lies beyond
this gateway that’s been my tormentor
But before I go, I must bid farewell
for this is a one-way door
everyone who’s ever walked through it
has never been seen, nevermore
for this is a one-way door and death is its name
I want to watch the sunrise from atop Sigiriya
I want to feel the warmth of the ****** sun rays
I want to stare at the sun until my eyes start to burn
but first I have to live

I want to swim in the turquoise blue ocean
I want to joke with the dolphins as I swim with them
I want to ride the friendly turtle’s thirteen moons
but first I have to live

I want to fly high with the majestic eagle
I want to soar up above the highest mountain peek
I want to get a birds eye view of the world below
but first I have to live

There are so many things I want to do
so many places I want to go
but first I have to live
so bring me back to life

— The End —