I shall not beg for your crumbs
I shall not eat at your feet
I shall now bow down with hands outstretched together towards you hoping for any ounce of love of nurturing.
My hands are clean my heart is pure.
Your mind is corrupted by the greed your heart produces so deep you can’t even see it
I shall not beg for you to do what you should
To do what you have an obligation to
For maybe you have no obligation to me but me to myself to set these boundaries.
I shall not allow you to enter my mind space and steal what I cherish.
I shall not beg for your crumbs when there is a full meal for me to prepare

Nothing from my mouth means much
I am silenced
I am unheard
Nothing from my mouth carries volume
I am over looked
I am unappreciated
Nothing from my mouth makes sense
As I am driven away with screams from your mouth that seem to hold much power in my head.
My mouth will have power once again.

Blood has been shed and water seems thicker
Your words cary no meaning
For your lies are greater than your actions
Your actions are less than your word
And your words circle back around to many forms of many stories
This fairy tail you painted is just that

When I am gone
Remember the actions you showed
And the intentions behind them that you’ll never own up to.
When I don’t want anymore to do with anything
Remember what your mindset was
Remember how you never could hear anything other than your own excuses or lies
Remember who was telling the truth and labeled a liar
Remember the liar who was always believed.
But you’ll never get a glimpse of my truth.
You don’t deserve it

The nightmares I have in my mind while my eyes are open are far worse than the nightmares I have when I lie my head down on the pillow.
I’d much rather awaken to me falling than to breathe through these thoughts of loved ones dying.
I often wonder if I’d awaken to find that it’s all just an imaginary dream
But everything’s the same day by day night by night
I’d much rather be having sleep nightmares than awake nightmares at least the nightmares when I’m asleep give me a break.
Do you ever get a break ?