I never left you
I was always near
I never flew
your voice I did hear
sometimes as an echo
or scrawled across a page
for not once did I let go
with the anger and the rage
I was always out in front
or standing by your side
not far did you have to hunt
for me to confide
you may think that I had gone
to attend to my wounds
but you would have been wrong
whenever I leave will be too soon.

I have reached an impasse
on life's path
an immovable mass
I'm standing still whilst people are running past
if this was a race I would already be last
I cannot force myself to go on anymore
and yet cannot return the way I came
as my feet are rooted to the floor
so I just remain the same.

Feels like I'm on a stage
re-enacting the same scene
when I just want to turn the page
it should be over
has been
and gone
like a worn out song
that goes on and on
stuck on repeat
the same old beat
same moves
same shuffle of feet.

Caught between a rock and a hard place
stalled in life's race
travelling at a snails pace
at twenty nine
it's hard to define
why I still have this childish mentality
at some point I must face reality
yet I cannot go forward
because of a mental block
so things remain awkward
and now I have stopped.

this is the part where we say
it was nice knowing you dear
go to your destiny with no fear
let my tattered heart shed its tear
as i feel you slip away from me
on a morning when nothing makes sense
because you have chosen to go and make cents
in the ignominy of a fabled land across the big river
and i shall without doubt in the days ahead be in a shiver
and weep when i think of the things we do for nothing
in this world of sorrow and intrigue from the schemes of others

i'd never felt such
cold hands
grab hold of my heart before,
and i'd never known it could
shatter into so many pieces.
            and i'd also never seen a
            sweeter man come along and
cut his perfect hands to shreds
             by picking up the pieces
and putting my heart back together again,
             *just
             to
             watch
              it
              beat

My heart was found guilty
Of witchcraft by my brain
He dragged her and beat her
Spewed his hatred for her
Tied her to a wooden stake

My brain couldn't comprehend
The magic of my heart
Why she never wavered
How she always loved
He started this persecution
Because he couldn't understand

I always felt her growing
Beautifully and powerfully
With every beat she won me over
All I did was want to protect her
But my brain called it heresy

My punishment was to watch
As he burned her alive
I heard the shrieks of hope die
The smell of her love stung
My nostrils and it haunts me still

I walk around pretending
As if nothing had ever happened
My brain condemned me to live
This life without my heart
Without the love and only
With the memory of that night

Every day I burn like she did
As every day I hate like he did
I was unable to convince him
That she just wanted to love
But my brain was too afraid
Of the powers of my heart

Grandson unlike most of humanity
enjoys the sound of my singing
so together we make up songs.
He at ten weeks with green eyes,
jug ears and the occasional goofy smile
is an honest audience though a toothless critic
who frowns upon hard consonants
but relishes lengthy vowels:

        la la-la la la-la la, la la-la la
        la! la! la la-la
        ooo ooobie  
        ooo!
        be doobie doo
        green eyes, green eyes, green eyes, green,
        green eyes, green eyes, green eyes, green…

Who needs radio? I compose, he edits,
new melodies fill the room,
perhaps only we two can understand.
Don’t listen.