have i ever wanted this as bad as i do now?
as bad as i feel after obtaining it ?
I give in as i plan my own demise , my one damnation
waking up from a mystical dream
compelling myself to forget the deed
As i keep to myself as I'm only to blame
blamed for executing my dying will.
will the guilt be so lethal i could ****
**** myself to start over do it again
how could something hurt but hurt so good ?
so good that it gives it's place to this.
feeling.
leaving no room for healing

you're right In front of me but still I grieve you
my feelings have changed the feel of your cheeks
the warmth of your voice and the feel of your touch
I flinch at your contact although I don't mean to

you stare into my eyes and even then I grieve you
there's something about you that's not entirely 'you'
what has changed , what did a couple months do to you ?
you're right Infront of me but still I grieve you

you grin at me and still I grieve you
your smile lacks the innocence you once held
all your beauty is suddenly so blue
and your heart is so far it has escaped

Love his smell of wood and sand
Like a secret place you visit when you’re sad
Like he was fated to cure your mind  
Be your secret thing when you run and hide

I love him
I love the colour of his eyes .
So simple yet ever so consuming
The kind that feels like a sigh
Releasing the pressure you once had

I love him
I love his eyes full of that vivid mallee  
Full of life and nature , god everything in between
So present you could never fathom to forget
Haunted with regrets and what could’ve beens

I love him and his beautiful heart ,
When you’re on his good side ,
When he sees you for who you are
Not for the devil in disguise

Every pixel of your being visible to his eyes
Processing you thoroughly , ever so fully
With a view , like that and such a precise mind
He must belong in the ****** army

And his mouth that once held a bouquet of compliment for my being
Now only utters mean truths , evils lies what a cruel thing
To mean it all , but still be nothing
To be just wind to one that is everything

To disappoint me was your goal
Disappointment is your goal ? Isn’t it ?
As a father i believed in my son,
As a professor i believed in my student,
But as a man you disappointed me

This is overdramatic, eight
I want to tell you
How much i love you
But i cannot reach you anymore
I’m crying out for help
Just *** and fun we said,
Of course just fun and ***…

Everything was under control
My hands held my
Light
Obsession
Vulnerability
Envy

I look in your deep brownie eyes,
I read in your mind like I always do
Just to see what you don’t want to say
Pick some words; expressions on your face;
Your smile I can tell that we both know
How this situations is out of control

Since vkei replicas nostalgia so well
I’m torn between crying or deeming satisfactory the years that have already fell
Cause vkei replicas the way I felt
When you were with me and everything was okay

And then I’m remembered how I would utter masculine names just for you to **** the noise they made
How I wanted to to fight thin air so I’d belong to you in every way .
How I'd talk about make  believes in hopes you’d nullify them all so I’d be compelled to pick only you
How I wanted you to be it all for me too .

I’ll move on I can feel it has already begun in my bones
Unfortunately there a still a few cells that seem to still live for you
A few cells which sole purpose is to remind me of my love for you
The ones you altered the chemistry of with you long lasting presence
The ones that forgot what they were doing before the sight of you

Just a number that tells a lot
A number that sounds like
"youth passion love"
I see him so often that I think
He is living in my iris
And even if I lost my sight
I'd still get a glimpse of him

Our red thread has started to compress my pinky finger
Our pinkies finger, that have lived through so many kisses, promises, lies and fights
He always seemed to wonder
« What it was like to be alone »
To be without
His other half, his partner, his aurius

But I left
And suddenly every song was singing about him
My red ***** was going crazy with the lack of him
Th warmth of your touch was so consuming
That I felt naked when you left the room

I was shivering from the cold you left
My stubble raise as a barrier
In order to protect from your
Toxicity, obsession, mischief

But in the end me, and my pinky
Are too weak against you

I'm drinking the tea that we used to drink
The tea that I'm now drinking with an other
The tea that we used to spill close to the sink
Every time I'll try to test the tea with someone else
But they hate it or acting weridly

I thought I could never take the tea without Him
I've wait so long, my tea was completely cold

Easily the Eight tried it, then adore it
Now we've drinking and talking about this tea
When the water is hot enough
I just put the infusion, blood starts to invade the cup
Thsi invasion starts in my heart too

Except, the taste isn't the same anymore
Now Red is everywhere
Nothing tastes like the beginning
Even my eyes start to close on Eight's Red flags

This acidic taste start to **** me off
I added sugar, more energy
But wait...
I'm blind, it doesn't taste like tea anymore

The flavours of my first tea with Eight start to reappear
The taste of his tongue too
The heath of his hands which travel my body