If I let myself fall
I’d never get back up
I’m pulling back, the breaks are on
You’re not gonna take care of me
And I will not let myself crave you
I’ve never more wanted to not be in love
Than I am today, now.
The world is a cold dead place and
I am a cold dead person.

Will we always be this way?
Project our hearts on a tv screen
And when we closed our eyes
You crawled inside of me
And you slept in my blood
Like the way you sleep now
The pills piled up to cushion my head
But I could no longer sleep and cried out for death, well Just rest now, and in a moment you will know everything, it’s only dream?
Now the quietest hush won’t calm me down
But sending my neurons firing into a dim lit rage. Because you and I will never be this way again.

I’m trapped inside my mind
Locked the door and through out the key
Now the pitch black night is my only company
I pass the days in solitude
Watch the busy world buzz by
I see Happy people walking &
I wonder what there lives are like?
How they are so different from mine
What happened long ago to me
To end up in such tragedy

Contrast and compare between the busy ones
And the ones that don't care
Until there is no one that you really know
So I drift through these days of appointments and wasted time
They will all end up broken and quickly replaced. With pills and empty promises
I can’t seem to not take
The Weeks are slow, days drag on;
Even love making and parties seem too long
But I find myself on going
I guess there's nothing to do
Oh well......

Each day I live I see your smile
I die each night not in your arms
Of your beauty I take my sips
Like poison wine on ruby lips
Grant me reprieve give me rest
To lay my head upon your chest
In morning dew we lie entwined
Our hearts inside your hand in mine
From your view I’m vibrant and alive
In my eyes i’m contorted & twisted inside
You’re spared from the cruelty inside my mind  
I’m sealed from the reality you think is mine

If you were for me
Would I know it?
Would I feel it?
I hate the guessing
I hate the emptiness and the yearning
I know it’s only my mammal instincts
But it’s hurting
Why let the chemicals in my head control me?
Only ends up feeling lost and empty
I’ll turn it off for you
Because I love you more than I’m supposed to
You drive me mad I belong to you
So Ill **** my human senses to fight you
Your stuck in my head like a virus
But I’ll take the chemo and antibiotics
You’ll never hurt me I’ve blocked you
I’ll break my own heart I love you

I’ve heard she hangs the headless
Upside down to drain
Nothing’s real it’s all a game
Am I Alice or the Red Queen
Do you suffer? Do you scream?
Are you mixed up inside like me?
Eat me, drink me
I’m so far away from home
I chase the rabbit further down the hole
Eat me, drink me
This will hurt you more than me
From a muffle to a scream
Wonderland isn’t scared of me