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Trapped in the anxiety
created by society.
It forged a mist and it won't let us go.

Feel the churning hollow pain
at the centre of your brain.
There's nothing really there,
and if there is, why care?

They'll ask you what the point is,
a question that still taunts us,
but the question makes no difference,
and the judgment has no existence.

Should we, or could we flee?
Will we ever be free?
We run, but it's always near.

The unshifting terror, strapping you down.
So am I crazy? I don't know. I don't know.
I will die.

In order to authentically die, you must live authentically. Some live so casually that death is not their end. They fade. They leave. Death must be an honor, not a fate.

My life will be proof in my death.

I loved my family first. I allowed them to continually conquer my heart and time. My affections were used on them and not the things my coffin refuses to contain.

The opportunities we are granted will be on our last breath. Confirming we were successful at taking them, or full of regret and bitterness.

There is no need for resolutions or bucket lists. Today is my life. I plan to make it count. God and I are the only mathematicians to this equation.

Our life is amplified by our death.

If an artist wants to make money, they best thing they can do is die. (Jackson, Shakur, Leonardo, Twain, Lewis, etc.)

I am not particularly excited for death. I am not morbid. But if I have to go through it, I’ll make my life worth it.
I want to be a safari woman

I will stand in a regal position with my elephant gun cocked,
Finger resting firmly on the trigger.
Will I dress as an Indian war leader?
Will I choose to look like a gentleman?
Or will my attire consist of camouflage paint and steel toed boots that walk with a purpose?
It may change daily, but I still possess the same desire inside-
To be one with this habitat so intriguing, so mysterious and concealed.

The rivers call my name.
As I paddle my silver bullet canoe into the abyssal waters ebbing and bending around my streamline vessel,
The water calms at my own will in a passive manner much like the coo of a dove

The trees know my presence
-Such a command I boast-
They know to bow at my arrival and whistle their harmonious flutters.
The babies cower at the sight of my polished machete.
The mothers stiffen when I equip it with a cool hand.

I am Simba.
I am ruler.
Africa,
Asia,
India,
I own this land as my own,
And I understand it is needy.
I care for it in sickness,
I check its fever regularly,
I mother every animal, every bush,
And in return they signal their respect.

As the day ends, the sun sings "good night" and the moon chimes in with a "good morning".
I watch as the fish jump from the waters to catch their dinner airborne,
And the bats chirp above me while my campfire crackles in response.
I watch the stars mirror themselves onto the water, yearning to be remembered as something great.

A day of accomplishment achieved.
I am a real woman,
I am a safari woman.
my collarbones don't show
my thighs don't have a gap
but i am trying so hard
to be proud of what i've got
even though i want to skip
every meal i put in my mouth
i am trying so **** hard
to love my body for what it is
it's a constant struggle
this disorder vs. me
still i am willing
to seek recovery
and be the winner
of this harsh battle
really am trying
to change my ways
but my thoughts
poison my mind
still, i am trying
to conquer
and win
against
this disorder
which makes me
do anything to be thin
society is a bad kind
of role model for us
it teaches girls that
size zero is better
than curves
© sinderella.

trying to recover from my eating disorder.
it's difficult but i'm trying to be healthy again.
spent years struggling with this, it's a nightmare,
but this time, i'm hoping to win back my confidence,
and to learn that, my weight doesn't define me,
that i should be happy with my body.
it's easier said than done but..
one step at a time, one day at a time.
kiss my lips after dark
let's drink til' we're lost
two kids madly in love
needing each other
like they'd need a drug
the passion is enough
to take em' places
different positions
different paces
different levels
of the same rush
through their veins
you are deadly but fine
like the purest *******
your lips intoxicate
it's like drinking
the finest wine

love; we're all addicts.
© sinderella.

I felt super creative, ha.
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