the leaves moving in a rhythmic motion
i watch them sway back and forth
i notice a certain pattern
why
do i notice the pattern
why do i continue to watch
why am i so concerned about this one little thing

people ask why I wear bracelets

It is the same reason why I wear long sleeves

can you guess why?

i look at myself in that long, ***** mirror --
the lighting is bad and i look ghost-like
in the shadows of the room

i lift up my oversized t-shirt
and my eyes fall to the blunt cuts
that grace my soft skin

i try not to do this too often
but lately it has become much too hard
to ignore for long

the blade that rests in my sweaty palm
feels like a million pounds
as i bring it to my stomach