green carpets of grass
spread their verdant coverage
over the landscape

At times I feel socially awkward
hiding away those eyes from contact
mumbling and stuttering
as though I were stumbling,
upon the words as I was discovering.

Please don’t think I don’t want to talk
when I rush out,
Please don’t think I don’t want to talk,
when I don’t open your messages.

I escape out of nervosity
I feel the fuzziness in my head
butterflies in my stomach
nervosity in my nerves
lack of air in my lungs
tremble in my muscles
and the gritting of my teeth on my nails
as it drains every ounce of energy out of me.

I hide behind shadows
so I don’t encounter any social interaction.

No matter how many times I plan
and play a conversation in my head
I shudder and fret in reality,
making myself look like an awkward mess.

I want to be friends
I want to say hi
but the words do not escape
for I feel tongue tied.

I feel conscience and dreadful
for being such an awkward mess
choking on words
unable to let them
escape my tongue.

I am thinking
more than I am speaking
I can have a conversation in my head
but somehow, I find it difficult in reality.

But then you reach out
and make the first move
It makes it easier;
only to find myself
being an embarrassment once again.

But you don’t judge
you play it cool
and remain patient
you still show an eager to talk
and maybe that was what I needed
to be comfortable and me.

Freud says tattoos
Are
The Manifestation
Of a
Trauma

Every point
A
Separate pain
We
Have
Suffered

It took
Two
And a
Half
Hours

To complete
The
Diary
Of my
Trauma

And half a million perforations

To convert
Those
Memories
Into something

New

And

Beautiful

To finally
Let go
Of the past

It makes me anxious
How much I care about you
You've got hold of me

My thoughts were a mess in my old letter,
And you probably agree.
So here’s another one that’s better,
that hopefully you’ll read.

All I want for you dear,
is to be happy.
Maybe that’s a lot to ask,
Or maybe you want more than that.
But leave our hardships in the past,
And move on with the memories.

I’d be lying if I said it wouldn’t hurt,
To see you happy without me.
But I know one day we’ll speak again,
So don’t you worry.
Like the true friend I always was,
I’ll be here waiting.

I’m angry too. Did you know that?
It may not make much sense,
But you chose to push me when I was down
And left our nature tense.
How could you be so cruel to a cry for help
From someone you once loved so dearly?

I’ve said I’m sorry all too much,
And I won’t say it again.
You know how sorry I am,
All I wanted was a friend.

So friends we shall be,
In the near future, hopefully.
But most of all, what I wish for you,
Is a period of healing,
That is the best gift that someone could receive.

I came across a terrible road,
Too damaged for one to walk.
I watched the leaves as the wind blowed,
And suddenly came to a stop.

Within the crack of the crumbling rock,
A single flower now grew.
Who knew that healing would come so quick,
If that healing was coming from you?